What do I call to my father's first wife as I am from my father's second wife's child. Step mom is for my father's 2nd wife by children by first wife or it applies to both?

  • 2
    Did you mean to say "I am my father's second wife's child"? "from my father's second wife's child" means your father's second wife's child is your mother.
    – Barmar
    May 30, 2019 at 0:35
  • There's no relation. She's just somebody he used to know.
    – jimm101
    Jul 2, 2019 at 20:53

2 Answers 2


Since there is no specific term for this relationship, we have to go by common practice and practicalities.

I can speak from personal experience of what terms were used in the past, in England, as both my mother and my grandfather (on the other side) were from second marriages. I heard that my grandfather's first wife died in 1914 - and that was always the terminology used. Similarly I heard about my great grandfather's first wife who died in perhaps 1885.

Further, the children of these relationships were always refereed to using terms like my great grandfather's son by his first wife or my grandfather's son from his first marriage. There was never any attempt to use terminology based on half uncles/ aunts (which they were, of course).

As for the use of terms like aunt, my grandfather's first wife was referred to as my great aunt, but this was not because of any aunt-like perception - it was because she was actually my great aunt, as my grandfather married two sisters in turn.


The woman currently married to your father (not your biological mother) is the one who is your step-mother. If he remarried, the new woman becomes your new step-mother, and the previous woman is now your former step-mother. If you were not born yet, that previous woman would be called exactly as you described, 'my father's first (or former) wife'.

  • Actually if I understand OP correctly the current wife is his straight-up mother. The former wife is nothing to Amir just his father’s exwife.
    – Jim
    May 29, 2019 at 21:47
  • my father's first wife and my mom both lives together as sisters. So we have a respect each other.
    – Amir Singh
    May 29, 2019 at 22:24
  • There is no term in English for this relationship, Therefore you can her whatever you, your mother, she, and your father find appropriate. If they have a sisterly relationship, as you said, maybe you could call her Aunt X, provided everyone is happy with this. In describing the relationship to others, you might say she is your Honorary Aunt, again provided everyone likes this term.
    – ab2
    May 29, 2019 at 23:00
  • 1
    Yep, I agree with @ab2. If they live together as sisters you can call her your aunt. We call my wife’s sister’s husband’s sister my daughter’s “aunt” because her cousins call her aunt and it’s just easier that way.
    – Jim
    May 30, 2019 at 3:22
  • What makes you think his first wife is not still his wife? In some places you can have more than one at the same time.
    – tchrist
    Jun 29, 2019 at 0:15

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