I have seen some people write "my wife and self were invited" Or "Please give access to Tom and self"

Is this is correct way of using "self" in a sentence? Or there is a different way?

  • 1
    In what context? First, whatever the context, the meaning of the abbreviation is clear enough. In diaries and communications with relatives and friends it is very common. In response to an invitation to a royal garden party or reception at the White House it would cause amusement among the staff and never be read by the Queen or President.
    – Tuffy
    Commented May 25, 2019 at 7:32
  • Yes, as Tuffy says. If we're talking about addressing Her Majesty, this isn't a question we would even ask. And if we're talking message or email, it is correct to use anything at all. And I'm not even trying to be funny. You can type a random sequence of characters, and it will be perfectly in line with the vast majority of all messages and emails. You can easily verify that, too, by checking your inbox right now.
    – RegDwigнt
    Commented May 25, 2019 at 7:54
  • 1
    Is there a particular dialect of English involved here? If so, please edit the questions' tags to include it. In particular I can imagine that this usage is far more common in India than in other parts of the world, where it would probably be regarded as non-standard.
    – Andrew Leach
    Commented May 25, 2019 at 8:46
  • 1
    Do you mean my friend and I were invited? If so, you should say that. In the second sentence, it would be please give access to Tom and me. If you're being self-referential, you would use myself (not just self): I invited myself and I gave myself access. Commented May 25, 2019 at 17:42

1 Answer 1


That is not idiomatic English but it isn't strictly incorrect. It would mark the speaker/writer as a likely ESL person, as it sounds slightly awkward to English/American ears.

Almost universally, you would say "my wife and I were invited" and "please give access to Tom and me". Note that the self pronoun goes last (eg, "Tom, Mary, and I were invited").

As others have said, your usage may be more common in certain dialects of English. I'm answering from the perspective of a North American native speaker of English.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.