-1

I want to travel to Tokyo. If you go, let's travel with Kamakura!

-> I want to travel to Tokyo. If you are traveling, let’s do it with Kamakura?

can someone help?

i corrected the original sentence because the verb ‘go’ was a bit vague and not clear as to who is going where. but now i realize it is specified prior to. however let’s travel with Kamakura seems like it’s entirely new sentence that’s not connected to the matters of the previous sentences.

  • There is nothing about the original sentence that needs to be corrected. It actually sounds better than the revision. – Jason Bassford Feb 7 at 18:58
2

For the moment, I'll ignore the question mark at the end of the second sentence...

Both sentences technically have the same meaning, though the original is a 'cleaner' because it conveys the meaning in fewer words/syllables.

However, because the second sentence has a question mark, the meaning of it actually changes. This time, the speaker is questioning if it is okay that Kamakura travels with them. In the original sentence, it was a suggestion.

EDIT: tldr; the original sentence was fine.

-1

I think a more extensive rewrite is in order. Something along the following lines.

Are you travelling to Tokyo? If so, let's both go with Kamakura, since I want to also.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.