0

I'm writing a poem at the minute and a part of a line goes:

"My certitudes not token hold"

Alternative

"My certitude is more than just some token hold"

What I'm trying to convey here is that I hope my certainty isn't just something that I'm holding onto to that no longer is true with the second meaning being that my certainty may have become some symbolic prison i.e. hold.

My question is does this make sense. I'm not sure about token for the first meaning I mentioned. If it doesn't ,make sense does anyone have any suggestions that will still have a word that rhymes with hold ( slant rhymes are fine)

  • also the poem takes place at a bus stop so I may reorganise the line to add a third meaning of token as in bus token – can'tcauchy Feb 5 at 19:07
  • alternative: my certitude is more than just some token hold – can'tcauchy Feb 5 at 19:11
  • 1
    "token" is not a valid alternative spelling of "taken", or conjugation of "take". If that's not what you meant, then (for me, at least) it definitely doesn't get across your intended meaning either. – Hellion Feb 5 at 19:12
  • @Hellion no I meant token as in a thing serving as a tangible representation of a fact or feeling , a voucher that can be exchanged for goods or done as a symbolic gesture . But yeah it seems a bit clunky to me too I liked the idea of putting all these meanings into this part but it seems to be sacrificing coherence – can'tcauchy Feb 5 at 19:19
  • @Hellion could you think of anyway to make it more clear , expressing the meaning of a symbolic prison (read: hold) and a tangible representation of something I'm holding onto ? – can'tcauchy Feb 5 at 19:24

Your Answer

By clicking "Post Your Answer", you acknowledge that you have read our updated terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy, and that your continued use of the website is subject to these policies.

Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.