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In the following sentence:

The kid was laughing out loud, as those three frightened adults "screamed their way out of the door" and vanished.

-Can I use the above sentence "as is" to convey the meaning with or without the quotes?

To convey the following meaning: that the men, who just came into the room, were so very scared, so they screamed, and they shut the door with fear.

Would like to use it as is, but not sure if it sounds correct to be a poetic variation.

Thanks, Tommy.

closed as primarily opinion-based by Gilles, Roaring Fish, J. Taylor, Skooba, jimm101 Nov 1 '18 at 2:07

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • What do you mean by “poetic variation”? – Jim Oct 27 '18 at 22:42
  • Does it sound okay to convey the above meaning? – Tommy Oct 27 '18 at 22:48
  • Screaming their way out of the door sounds like they were screaming as they ran away. It does not convey shutting the door with fear. – Jim Oct 27 '18 at 22:51
  • Thanks, Jim. What's better: The kid was laughing out loud, as those three frightened adults "screamed their way out of the door" and vanished. OR The kid was laughing out loud, as those three frightened adults "were screaming their way out of the door" and vanished. and will you drop the quotes? – Tommy Oct 27 '18 at 23:01
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This is a perfectly natural way to form a sentence in English. The particle out (complemented by “… of the door”) conveys the direction of the movement, and the verb screamed conveys the manner of the movement. It is a lot more natural to use this phrasing in English than to use constructions such as “ran out of the door while screaming” or “exited the room while running and screaming” which are more familiar in many languages.

You should not use quotes. Quotes can either indicate that you're reporting someone else's words, or that you're distancing yourself from the words as if someone else had said them. Since this is a perfectly grammatical and idiomatic sentence, don't use quotes: quotes would imply that you're reporting the words somebody else used to describe the scene.

Nothing in your sentence indicates that the adults shut the door. In fact, given that they ran away in fear, it's likely that nobody thought to close the door.

  • Perfect, thanks so much. I thought it was not natural enough, thus the idea about the quotes... They won't be used! – Tommy Oct 27 '18 at 23:08

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