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Here are 2 possible structures of the same sentence (including extra sentence for context).

Seriously, what is up with this unnatural behavior of hers?! She started acting like this ever since that stupid ring got involved…

And

Seriously, what is up with this unnatural behavior of hers?! Ever since that stupid ring got involved, she started acting like this…

From the novel PoV, which of them reads more easily and natural?

And what should I keep in mind, if I deal with such structure dilemmas in the future?

Please migrate the question if this is a wrong section for questions like this.

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  • 2
    How is that anything but a personal style choice?
    – Robbie Goodwin
    Commented Sep 15, 2018 at 21:06
  • 3
    Whichever you choose, I don't think you can use "started acting" and "ever since" together in this way.. changing the tense to "she has been acting" reads more naturally to me. (you can also contract "she has" to "she's", of course)
    – KrisW
    Commented Nov 12, 2018 at 22:08
  • The first is more natural, because it's good to a sentence with old information and end it with new information. If you had been talking about the ring before, and not her behavior, the second would be more natural.
    – Peter Shor
    Commented Aug 10, 2019 at 13:11
  • @Robbie Goodwin I agree. I've C-V'd. (??)
    – Edwin Ashworth
    Commented Apr 6, 2020 at 14:44
  • I'm voting to close this question because it is a request for writing advice, which is off-topic at this site.
    – Sven Yargs
    Commented Apr 7, 2020 at 0:29

1 Answer 1

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It is up to you. If you will continue with descriptions about her behavior then the first is appropriate. If you are going to talk more about the ring then that would be the choice.

In a novel you may be hinting that the ring is important, to be revealed later. In that case you could use the first sentence which mentions the ring just in passing, sotto voice.

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