I am trying to translate to English a German sentence where a car is called a "Schlaglochsuchgerät" (literally: "Pothole detector"), which is an ironic name for cars small enough to fit into a big pothole, with small tires that make for a really bumpy ride on degraded roads.
"What makes you think five people could fit into your __________?"
"If the condition of that road degrades for another year or two, I may have to trade in my ________ for an AWD."