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I am looking for a verb (it can be a one-word verb or a phrasal verb) to use for a person who dislikes someone, but still acts like they get on (mildly) in order to avoid problems in a group of friends and colleagues.

The idea is to be able to describe the relationships of the people in the group in as few words as possible.

Example: John gets on really well with Daniel, but he [dislikes though he acts like he mildly gets on with] Daniel's son.

Edit:

@awhyzip has made me realise that I should have clarified the type of behaviour I have in mind when I say 'get on mildly'.

I envision 'getting on' as people interacting with a (higher or lower) degree of enthusiasm. When I added mildly I was hoping to convey the idea that John interacts with a civil level of interest but isn't enthusiastic about it.

Say, he might start an interaction such as 'how's the new job' or 'congratulations for the promotion', he might participate in activities alongside Daniel's son without outward signs of displeasure, might even show genuine pleasure that the boy won a marathon (although this could be more of a reaction to Daniel's joy and pride), but most interactions would not be started by John himself and he would still think that Daniel deserved a better son.

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    What's wrong with the verb pretend, pray tell.
    – Lambie
    Jul 2, 2018 at 21:57
  • Do you want to emphasize the dishonesty or the doing it to avoid problems in a group?
    – T.J. Crowder
    Jul 3, 2018 at 8:56
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    @T.J.Crowder Just to avoid problems in the group. There's no one who'll like a good friend being cold to one's son even if he's an arrogant prick.
    – SC for reinstatement of Monica
    Jul 3, 2018 at 9:00
  • @Lambie The person isn't really pretending to get along, just hiding their dislike to avoid unnecessary conflict.
    – SC for reinstatement of Monica
    Jul 3, 2018 at 9:02
  • Sorry, but acting like you get along is pretending. That is exactly what it means....
    – Lambie
    Jul 3, 2018 at 12:53

12 Answers 12

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19

"John gets on really well with Daniel, but he (only) tolerates Daniel's son."

[Merriam-Webster]

1 b : to put up with · learn to tolerate one another

I don't like my boss, but I tolerate him.

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16

Put up with conveys the idea you are referring to ​

to accept or continue to accept an unpleasant situation or experience, or someone who behaves unpleasantly:

  • He's so moody - I don't know why she puts up with him.

(Cambridge Dictionary)

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7

One of the two meanings that the verb to stomach has is:

endure or accept (an obnoxious thing or person)

One possible way to apply it to your example would be something like this:

John gets along really well with Daniel, but he can barely stomach his son.

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5

Example: John gets on really well with Daniel, but he fakes it with Daniel's son.
John gets on really well with Daniel, but he (only) plays along with Daniel's son.

Many of the other answers have given you words to describe the negative feelings that John internally has for the son. At best, though, tolerate, put up with, endure, stomach imply a neutral observable behavior. But in the situation you have asked for, John is acting like he has a positive relationship with the son (that he gets on with him, albeit mildly).

To emphasize the artificial performance of the positive interaction, I suggest the phrase "fakes it". The context supplies the meaning of it: he fakes that he "gets on well with" the son.

For a weaker, but still apparently positive, interaction, I suggest the phrase "plays along with". This indicates that John's apparent "getting on" with the son is not as strong as his "getting on" with Daniel, but it is still better than neutral.

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  • I'm afraid my example may not have been the clearest. I envision 'getting on' as people interacting with a higher or lower degree of enthusiasm. When I added mildly I was hoping to convey the idea that John interacts with a civil level of interest but isn't enthusiastic about it. I'll add the clarification to the answer. Thank you for bringing up this point.
    – SC for reinstatement of Monica
    Jul 3, 2018 at 9:13
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"Going along to get along" is the phrase I used to hear when someone was keeping things civil in a situation they disapproved of but it may have fallen out of fashion these days I haven't heard it used in a long time.

Having finally read the exemplar properly I'd say "only tolerates" is the best fit.

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  • I had never heard of that expression. I'll keep it in mind, but I'm afraid it's much too long for my current needs.
    – SC for reinstatement of Monica
    Jul 2, 2018 at 19:10
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How about endure? May be a little too strong, depending on how much they dislike the person.

Endure

to experience and bear something difficult, painful, or unpleasant:

John gets on really well with Daniel, but he (barely) endures Daniel's son.

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3

If you want to note that John avoids needless confrontation without suggesting that he is disingenuous, I would say that he is being civil in the sense of

adequate in courtesy and politeness

Used in your example:

John gets on really well with Daniel, but although he dislikes Daniel's son, he is always civil.

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  • When I read the question, my first thought was polite, but I think it's better left as a comment here than an answer on its own.
    – J.R.
    Jul 3, 2018 at 21:14
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To Humor/Humour:

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/humor

to agree to someone’s wishes in order to help improve that person’s mood or to avoid upsetting him or her:

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0

The first words that come to mind for me are "placate," "smarm," "patronize," "propitiate," "appease," or "put on a good front." In more vernacular terms, the verb would be "front" or "be two-faced."

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0

'Keeps the peace' which implies that it is something that requires active self-control in order to keep the relationship smooth.

Example: John gets on really well with Daniel, so he keeps the peace with Daniel's son.

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0

Feign could be used or, with a different sentence structure disingenuous might work.

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  • These words have potential for answering the question, but they don’t easily fit into the OP’s example sentence.   Can you demonstrate how your words could be used?   Please do not respond in comments; edit your answer to make it clearer and more complete.
    – Scott - Слава Україні
    Jul 3, 2018 at 2:34
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You could say that both parties merely "exchange pleasantries".

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