0

any suggestions for the following list:

"such as: joiner, Hollaender swivel T, Hollaender horizontal flat plate, jr. end piece, Hollaender split cross, flange base, [Matthews] Big Ben, speedrail ear, swiveling alum. Cheeseboro, Modern swiveling cheeseboro, Modern sliding D-ring, grid clamp to 3/8” thread (often used with cheeseplate), side mount jr. grid clamp, baby grid clamp, and jr. grid clamp."

I'm editing this for a friend. The items are jargon, which I can't change. The periods after each abreviation are confusing, but spelling out "junior" isn't an option. Would using semicolons instead of commas be ok, even though the other lists in the doc use commas?

closed as off-topic by cobaltduck, 9fyj'j55-8ujfr5yhjky-'tt6yhkjj, David, Edwin Ashworth, David Richerby Apr 26 '18 at 17:38

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – cobaltduck, 9fyj'j55-8ujfr5yhjky-'tt6yhkjj, David, Edwin Ashworth, David Richerby
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    Is bullet pointing it an option? I’d agree that semicolon delimiters might work, too, but since there aren’t any commas in the list entries, there’s no real advantage. – Pam Apr 24 '18 at 20:53
  • Thanks Pam, that's a good suggestion. It wouldn't be my first choice, but definitely better than what I've got. I guess I was hoping the magic grammar fairy would wave her wand, and it would all be transformed! 😜 - Nom – Nom DaGruyere Apr 24 '18 at 21:54
  • Ah, sorry. I know formatted lists take up lots of space. Is there any way you can make it a table instead? – Pam Apr 25 '18 at 9:06
  • bullets will work well enough. Its a good "cut the knot" solution. I'm new to stack exchange - how can I accept your comment as an answer? – Nom DaGruyere Apr 25 '18 at 14:22
  • I've expanded it a little bit and added an actual answer. There's no rush to accept an answer - I provided suggestions in the comments because I, too, hoped that a magic grammar fairy would show up! I have similar long lists to format and would appreciate other options which save space and increase clarity. – Pam Apr 25 '18 at 14:57
0

If bullet pointing or some other formatting is an option, I would opt for that. Like this:

"such as:

  • joiner
  • Hollaender swivel T
  • Hollaender horizontal flat plate
  • Hollaender split cross
  • jr. end piece
  • flange base
  • [Matthews] Big Ben
  • speedrail ear
  • swiveling alum. Cheeseboro
  • Modern swiveling cheeseboro
  • Modern sliding D-ring
  • grid clamp to 3/8” thread (often used with cheeseplate)
  • side mount jr. grid clamp
  • baby grid clamp
  • jr. grid clamp."

It makes for a long list but you could group some of them together to save space using square brackets to indicate options. For example:

  • Hollaender swivel T
  • Hollaender horizontal flat plate
  • Hollaender split cross
  • baby grid clamp
  • jr. grid clamp.

could become:

  • Hollaender [swivel T / horizontal flat plate / split cross]
  • [baby / jr.] grid clamp

Although I don't know if that grouping makes proper sense in the context. I've a feeling one of these options contains a noun while the other contains an adjective. Probably best to make the words inside the square brackets all the same (so either all nouns or all adjectives).

I’d agree that semicolon delimiters might work, too, but since there aren’t any commas within the list entries, there’s no real advantage over ordinary commas.

  • I don't think that the square brackets are intuitive, and I'm fairly certain they aren't a recognized part of standard English grammar. They might be acceptable in certain technical contexts though. – Kamil Drakari Apr 25 '18 at 15:57
  • @KamilDrakari, that probably true. It definitely isn't standard grammar, but it's sometimes used on forms where you have to delete the non-required answer e.g. Married [YES / NO]. – Pam Apr 25 '18 at 16:22

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.