0

Here is the sentence (a request for a client's feedback):

Should you find time and desire, please be so kind to briefly express your point of view and compile relevant text in English or German.

I am supposed to evaluate a translation made by a new employee, the whole construct does not seem right, but I don't want to be too critical... 'Please be so kind' and everything... But it made me wonder about that 'desire' most of all.

Thank you!

2

It's more common to use "wish" than "desire" in this context. It's a common expression in formal letter writing.

See the example of it in Cambridge Dictionary: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/conditionals-and-wishes/conditionals-other-expressions-unless-should-as-long-as

Desire isn't wrong, but it sounds stilted and too formal. Other parts of the sentence are over-formal too, namely "compile" and "be so kind".

Here's a more natural-sounding sentence:

If you have time, please let us know what you think (you can write your answer in either English or German).

or

If you have time, please let us know your opinion (you can write your answer in either English or German).

You don't need to mention "time" and "desire" separately. "If you have time" implies that they have the choice of whether or not they want to answer.

0

"If you desire to do so, please express your point of view..." fewer words, the better but I wouldn't hesitate to use the word desire in this case.

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.