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Somebody asked me to review a press release they had written.

Although most of it was pretty straightforward, I had a hard time with the title and initial sentence of the first paragraph.

Any thoughts on which version is correct?

XXX LLC Promotes Joe Jones and Jane Janes to Principals on its Furry Animal Appreciation Team

XXX LLC, a leading widget manufacturer, today announced that Joe Jones and Jane Hanes have been promoted from Vice Presidents to Principals on its furry animal appreciation team.

or

XXX LLC Promotes Joe Jones and Jane Janes to Principal on its Furry Animal Appreciation Team

XXX LLC, a leading widget manufacturer, today announced that Joe Jones and Jane Janes have been promoted from Vice President to Principal on its furry animal appreciation team.

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  • Here is the main issue: if those people are part of the Furry Animal Appreciation Team, you can't have it hanging out there at the end. Were they already on the team or not? As is, it sounds pretty weird. X promotes FAAT Team members Joe Jones and Jane Janes to Principal. – Lambie Jun 29 '18 at 23:30
  • X and Y have both been promoted from A to B. – Edwin Ashworth Dec 23 '19 at 19:41
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    I would go with the singular. If you were using the title "partner", would you say "Joe and Jane have been promoted to partners" or "Joe and Jane have made partners"? That would sound odd, whereas in both cases, the singular would not. @Lambie has the right idea about what to do with "FAAT Team members", although that wasn't part of your question. – Isabel Archer Apr 21 '20 at 19:19
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I'm new to this site, and I'm certainly not like some individuals whom I admire on this site who can articulate the specific reasoning behind a choice of grammar. That said, I believe you should go with the first set of sentences that implement the plural forms. Why? You are promoting two people, therefore, there is more than one instance of each position.

Also, I believe the preposition on should be changed to of. After all, of "indicat[es] an association between two entities, typically one of belonging, in which the first is the head of the phrase and the second is something associated with it," according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

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  • Thanks. I also wondered about using "on" vs. "of," although I leaned in favor of the former (FWIW, the original writer used "in," which seemed totally wrong to me). Among other things, I was thinking about it from the perspective of being "on" a team -- "he plays on the Yankees" -- and the fact that there is more than one Vice President, which made it seem like a bit of a stretch to say the newly promoted individuals were Vice Presidents "of" the team. Anyway, thanks for the input. – user284221 Mar 1 '18 at 0:37
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    @user284221 The plural forms are probably both correct, though both sound at last slightly odd. If you modify the second to include "... have each been promoted..." then you can (I think) safely use the singular form. – TripeHound Apr 30 '18 at 15:25

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