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I have sentence that I cannot figure out how to structure correctly. I am not sure if using "in" too much in a sentence in incorrect. I was told the sentence below is not the correct way to say this, but am unsure how else to say it.

Any help would be appreciated.

MB Kit Systems was founded in 1996 within Akron, Ohio, with a strong background in the use of structural aluminum profile to replace welded, painted steel in a wide range of applications.

  • What about this? MB Kit Systems, based in Akron, Ohio was founded in 1996 with a strong background in the use of structural aluminum profile to replace welded, painted steel in a wide range of applications. – Paul Feb 21 '18 at 13:42
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    What are you trying to emphasise? As written, the sentence makes four separate points: when MB Kit Systems was founded, where, what they make, and how widely applicable are their products. That is quite a lot for one sentence. I suggest you start with a sentence that makes your main point, and then write another sentence or two with the subsidiary points. – JeremyC Feb 21 '18 at 14:52
  • @JeremyC Is it grammatically correct to say "MB Kit Systems was founded in 1996 in Akron, Ohio." or is there another way to say this? – Paul Feb 21 '18 at 14:55
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    It is quite correct. If that is your main point, then such a sentence could be your first. I'd be a bit surprised if it was your main point, but only you can know. If you did want to emphasise their products, but still mention when and where they were founded, you might say "MB Kit Systems make ...in a wide range of applications. The company was founded in 1996 in Akron, Ohio." – JeremyC Feb 21 '18 at 15:00
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    I still say go for more than one sentence. "Since 1996, MB Kit Systems of Akron, Ohio has [made/ led the world in making/ etc] structural aluminium profile. [something about its wide uses]" – JeremyC Feb 21 '18 at 15:24

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