0

I have to write something quite informal while being AND staying in a formal context. For this sake I used a lot of punctuation marks without being certain I did this the right way. Is the following snippet correct?

Forgive me, I didn’t get the chance to take a look at that book of yours (you can blame school for this one – I know ‘lol’, life sucks being an adolescent).

I know this sounds weird but whatever, how would you guys formulate that?

closed as off-topic by Dan Bron, Edwin Ashworth, Nigel J, Davo, Skooba Jan 22 '18 at 15:57

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – Dan Bron, Edwin Ashworth, Nigel J, Davo, Skooba
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    I'd just drop the I know 'lol' – marcellothearcane Jan 21 '18 at 21:15
  • That confused me. I couldn't work out what it meant. I left it in only because I assumed it was some sort of "in joke" with the recipient. – Ross Murray Jan 21 '18 at 22:10
  • "I assumed it was some sort of 'in joke'" - xD – user175035 Jan 22 '18 at 18:44
0

Frankly, I did find all the punctuation marks a distraction. It's not that they're a problem, but what purpose do they serve? I'd simplify with something like:

Forgive me, I didn’t get the chance to look at that book of yours. You can blame school for this one, I know, ‘lol’. Life sucks being an adolescent!

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.