While reading software-user reviews on Google Play Store, I happened to run across the following (verbatim):

"I'm game ginger an as wet as, a otters pocket full support to do you will ave to be used andbuy my nickers an then abuse me hardcore Istyley kettle bell"

I gather the young lady was pleased with the software application as she gave it a five-star rating and seemed, well, rather..., enthusiastic. However, I'm still curious as to the literal translation and etymology of the idioms / slang involved. My overall perception was this person is humorously feigning a bawdy Cockney persona. Do you think I'm even close in this assessment?

  • Since the only punctuation mark is in the wrong place, it's a bit difficult to tease out! Google informs me that 'wetter than an otter's pocket' is an idiom for 'very wet' which can be used in a sexual sense. "I'm game, Ginger!" sounds Cockney ('game' in the sense of 'eager to participate'). Can't make much of the rest of it. Dec 20, 2017 at 10:01
  • Have we really been reduced to this? Sussing out porn-speak from lowlifes? The literal translation? I reckon the OP is an English speaker.
    – Lambie
    Jan 18, 2018 at 23:52
  • Are you sure it's not auto-generated spam text? It's common to see random phrases strung together nonsensically in such posts.
    – 1006a
    Jan 19, 2018 at 4:42

1 Answer 1


Unable to parse this sentence myself, I reached out to slang lexicographer Jonathan Green of Green's Dictionary of Slang and he gave me permission to include his response as an answer. All formatting included in the answer is my own.

It's not especially cockney, though the terms are British rather than US or elsewhere, e.g. Australian.

It's a strange mish-mash and not the most obvious thing to 'translate'. It is, surely, a joke.

Breaking it down she's announcing herself as a sexually excited ('wet as an otter's pocket') and available ('game') woman ('ginger', though this could also mean 'prostitute'), presumably as a result of the software's qualities. 'Buy my nickers' (usually 'knickers') also suggests a working girl. 'Abuse me hardcore' suggests sado-masochism (as also 'you will ave to be used' may do). 'Istyley kettle bell' is probably indicating her name, with 'Istyley' as a version of British black stylee, 'manner'. Thus 'I call myself kettle bell'. (This could be rhyming slang, but none that I know).

We can conclude that the author of these words was likely British or pretending to be, and was using a large range of slang terms to express a joke about the software's excellence by feigning sexual excitement. But the sentence is not particularly cockney in nature.

  • Interesting. How exactly did you "reach out" to Jonathan Green? Dec 20, 2017 at 16:24
  • 2
    @Clare via email. I send him citations sometimes so we have a small correspondence. Dec 20, 2017 at 17:52

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