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What is the word for someone who finds value and ambition in other people giving them positive regard and support? A person who wants as many people as possible to give them positive regard and support.

I'm not looking for words that describe attention seekers, and the word egocentric doesn't help as egocentric people are self centered, and the person I have in mind is not self centered. Emotional vampire isn't suitable as this person isn't abusive. Also this person does not want to be famous.

The research I've done is searching Google for the word I'm looking for.

I am looking for an adjective. Examples 2 and 3 use an adjective as a noun as they use colloquial speech.

Examples

Sheridon hadn't had a response in 30 minutes mid-conversation. "Sorry I was eating dinner" Eliza told Sheridon to resume the conversation on the messaging app. Sheridon liked her apology though she did nothing wrong, as he was [a] __________ [ a person who gets validation by getting their ego fed]

"I'm always first to enter the party and the last to leave. I gotta get that social utility, that _________ [person who gets validation by getting their ego fed] material" (colloquial language)

"Guess what? A famous journalist on twitter retweeted my article that I wrote and made it go viral. As a _______ [person who gets validation by getting their ego fed], I value that." (colloquial language)

  • Please note the word you seek (someone who finds value and ambition in other people giving them positive regard and support) will fit only your third example sentence @desbest. And, you really need to include only one example. To ask for adjective or noun you can write "as a ________ person (adjective) or as a _______ (noun) I value that." Anyway I have voted to reopen and you should as well! – English Student Oct 30 '17 at 23:30
  • I think example 1 is out of place. Here, the word that comes to mind is something along the lines of sympathetic or attentive. For examples 2 and 3, you could go with socialite, without the word 'person' on example 3. – psosuna Oct 30 '17 at 23:47
  • @Scott It's on a higher level than supportive. It's about feeding someone's ego. In the first example Eliza feeds Sheridon's ego by accommodating for him. And Sheridon is _____ for being attracted to people who feed his ego. – desbest Oct 31 '17 at 0:02
  • @psosuna See above comment. Example 1 has the missing word describe Sheridon, not Eliza. You got it mixed up. – desbest Oct 31 '17 at 0:07
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    No, structurally, you are looking for a noun. It doesn't matter that you keep calling it "colloquial," the blank in your examples must be filled with a noun. You could rephrase your question to ask for a word that can be used as an adjective or a noun if you like, or focus on one part of speech. – Azor Ahai Nov 2 '17 at 22:27
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Validation-seeking would be one possible adjective (gerundive). People with approval-contingent self-esteem are often called people-pleasers. "people-pleasing" might serve as a similar adjective.

Sheridon had a validation-seeking personality and he was known to many to be a people-pleaser.

If you seek alternatives, you might try reading up on personality types and see what other adjectives are used for this concept.

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Self-presenting describes one who finds value and ambition in other people giving them positive regard and support. A self-presenter wants as many people as possible to give them positive regard and support.

In 'Impression Management' Giacalone and Rosenfed discuss the psychology of the self-presenter in great detail, but this quote stands out :

The motive [of the self-presenter] to please the audience is stimulated by dependency on the audience.

The Oxford Handbook of Social Influence defines self-presentation as

a process in which people strategically control the inferences that others draw about them.

and further describes it as an 'automatic cognitive mechanism'.

These two sources are defining a self-presenter as someone who automatically seeks to present themselves well before an audience, for no other reason than to do just that. There appears to be no other motive.

  • I like your answer better than mine, except for the fact that an adjective was requested. You provided a noun and then a verb. – thorr18 Nov 7 '17 at 11:31
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Each of your examples actually calls to a slightly different word, but ones that are generally synonymous. Of the three words, "needy", "stroking", or "needing to get stroked" and "feedback junky", "needy" probably has the most negative connotation - most people probably wouldn't appreciate being called "needy".

Examples

Sheridon hadn't had a response in 30 minutes mid-conversation. "Sorry I was eating dinner" Eliza told Sheridon to resume the conversation on the messaging app. Sheridon liked her apology though she did nothing wrong, as he was needy, by nature.

"I'm always first to enter the party and the last to leave. I gotta get that social utility, that "stroking material" (colloquial language)

"Guess what? A famous journalist on twitter retweeted my article that I wrote and made it go viral. As a feedback junky, I value that." (colloquial language)

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