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This friend of mine did me a favor but he then talked about it as if I now owe him.

What is the verb for such an behavior?

Example:

Alan: Hey I did that but it was really hard. I usually don't do that for anyone. It took a long time of me.
Bill: Ow, yeah, now you are ________ . When you do someone a favor, it is not nice to ________ [about it].

I am looking for a verb to fill in the blanks above.

One might call it "bragging" but that is not the word I am looking for. This type of behavior, usually in the form of talking, makes the other party feel as if he or she owes something to the speaker. We do not like people doing it: if someone do us a favor, we like that they do not talk about it as a favor, making it like a big deal, and making us feel as if we owe them. I want a verb for that act.

I found this idiom which means what I want, though the source might not be that reliable:

To cast a favor in someone's teeth

When you cast a favor in someone's teeth you want to make that person feel that s/he is indebted to you.

But I am still looking.

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1 Answer 1

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"Guilt tripping" was the first thing to come to mind. It means to make someone feel guilty. It's generic and doesn't specify what type of guilt, so it could be used in the context of making someone feel guilty for their efforts in doing them a favor. Keep in mind, it's somewhat more colloquial, and is often spelled with a hyphen (e.g., guilt-tripping).

Alan: Hey I did that but it was really hard. I usually don't do that for anyone. It took a long time of me.

Bill: Ow, yeah, now you are guilt tripping me. When you do someone a favor, it is not nice to guilt trip them for it.

Sources:

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  • Could you please cite sources for your comments so that your statements are shown to be not just personal opinion but documented fact ?
    – Nigel J
    Oct 26, 2017 at 19:19
  • Note that the definition of the verb (encourage a state) and that of the noun (the state) do not match precisely. / 'Guilt-trip' is certainly in the right ballpark, but is not restricted to OP's scenario. Oct 27, 2017 at 15:32
  • @EdwinAshworth The CED did not have an entry for the verb form of the term, only the word used as a noun. Their definition does, however, match the noun entry in the M-W link. I have removed the CED source in any case as the OED link documents of the informality of the term.
    – Nolan
    Oct 27, 2017 at 15:36
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    @EdwinAshworth Per your comment on its not being restricted to the OP's scenario, please see above as my answer points out that it is a more generic term, but that it can be used in that context.
    – Nolan
    Oct 27, 2017 at 15:40

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