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I'm looking for an adjective for a person that can be described as a control freak or having OCD. However, I was look for a word that is less harsh than control freak.

The girl was _____; while playing tea time with her friends, she dictated everyone's roles, where they were to sit, and what they could say.

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Controlling

[exercising] restraint or direction over; dominate; command

Source: Dictionary.com

It also sounds like they are:

Manipulative

influencing or attempting to influence the behavior or emotions of others for one’s own purposes

Source: Dictionary.com

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bossy

The girl was bossy

Merriam Webster says:

inclined to domineer.

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from https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/fastidious

fastidious

adjective

1: Very attentive to and concerned about accuracy and detail.

‘she dressed with fastidious care’

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