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So I was writing a little something and I thought of this sentence: "In darkness, I found a friend, and she held my hand." At first, I referred to darkness as "it", but it felt like it didn't deliver the meaning quite well. But then again, English isn't my first language and I could be wrong. Which do you think sounds better? And is my sentence grammatically correct?

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    If you're writing in a genre where it's permissible to personify darkness as a friend there can certainly no be no objection to extending that personification to the pronoun. ... I would kill the comma after darkness: it leads the reader to understand in darkness as a clausal modifier describing the scene where you found a friend rather. Aug 28, 2017 at 0:25
  • I'm writing a YA fiction, so I guess I'll change it back to "it". Thank you for pointing out the comma, I'm not very good with punctuation 😅 Aug 28, 2017 at 8:57
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    Sajida, I’m amazed that anyone who could come up with such a beautiful phase as In darkness, I found a friend, and she held my hand would also stumble over it didn't deliver the meaning quite well. Please don’t change it, back or anywhere else… if that meant In darkness, I found a friend, and it held my hand that would be horrible and how else could you change it? For clarity, the only thing just possible questionable about darkness became my friend is that anything personified, including Darkness deserves a capital. Aug 28, 2017 at 21:05
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    I agree with the other commentators, referring to darkness as "she" is gorgeous, very poetic
    – Rob M
    Aug 30, 2017 at 23:51
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    I think the SHE on the senteces make a real difference. Beautiful.
    – jalazbe
    Aug 31, 2017 at 9:01

2 Answers 2

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The only persons whos thoughts matter are your own. For my own opinion, this phrase is incredibly beautiful as is. Write it as you originally meant it. I have always thought of darkness as a 'he', but thats me.

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No you are not.

In darkness, I found a friend, and she held my hand.

As all commenters said, it is a good sentence just as it is.

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