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People felt that he had "gone mad" or that he harbored some "secret sin," while others felt it was "an eccentric whim." (Is the comma necessary after the word "sin"?)

He called it "but a mortal veil," one that he had vowed to wear in this present life, but could be removed forever in heavenly eternity. (Should there be a comma after "life"?)

  • I (UK) do not like the comma inside the inverted commas – Henry Aug 8 '17 at 19:42
  • I'd say People felt that he had gone mad, or that he harbored some secret sin, while others felt it was an eccentric whim. Lose all the quote marks. – Max Williams Aug 8 '17 at 20:13
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While is a subordinating conjunction that introduces a dependent clause. When the dependent clause comes after the independent clause, a comma is usually not needed.

She stayed home while ( as ) I worked.

However, in your sentence "while" is used as an adverb of concession ( whereas ). In this case the dependent clause requires a comma.

The boss had an air conditioned room, while ( whereas ) his employees languished in the sweltering heat.

Commas are also usually required before coordinating conjunctions if they come in the middle of the sentence. So, there should be a comma before life.

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