Consider that the outcome of Alice's efforts are understood to be satisfactory or even excellent, by her peers and the upper hierarchy. Given that Alice recognises she can deliver even better than she did, how should Alice formally state that she aims to do better than she has achieved without risking being misunderstood to imply she has been underachieving?

Assuming Alice had expressed the following in a written statement "my goal is to be more efficient and to close more deals per month", if Bob when reading that may be unaware of Alice's performance history, how could Alice have phrased her statement better to guarantee that someone like Bob would never perceive it negatively?

closed as off-topic by Drew, user66974, Phil Sweet, kiamlaluno, Edwin Ashworth May 5 '17 at 10:56

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – Drew, Community, Phil Sweet, kiamlaluno, Edwin Ashworth
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 1
    "further hone my efficiency" and "build on existing success in closing more deals each month" perhaps? – Spagirl May 2 '17 at 23:17
  • 1
    I think a salesperson might want to 'pitch' it with more active words. "stretch to new heights of efficiency and new personal bests in sales" .. I might dream up a few more and make an answer of it later. – Tom22 May 2 '17 at 23:50
  • 1
    I will continue to out-do myself – Jim May 3 '17 at 5:20
  • @Tom22, please do. – Bad Schön Mann May 3 '17 at 19:54

Without substantially altering your sentence, the simplest way to convey that her current achievement is already very good, would be (in my opinion) to use 'even more' as an intensified form of 'more' as in

"my goal is to be even more efficient and to close more deals per month"

where she can clearly convey the meaning 'I know I am efficient; I aim to be 'even more efficient!'

Note: You might be tempted to use 'even more' twice in the sentence as in

'my goal is to be even more efficient and to close even more more deals per month'

in order to be even more impressive, but beware! -- repetition of intensified statements actually reduces the impact and can even be misinterpreted in many ways, therefore best avoided.


When taken without the full context, yes, it may appear that Alice is acknowledging inferior performance by saying "my goal is to be more efficient and to close more deals per month".

One way for Alice to restate this in a positive way would be

My successes come from continuously looking for ways to improve.

Having a goal of continuous improvement is always taken as a positive attribute. Tying it to prior and ongoing successes emphasizes why she would do this.


Most people would not take the statement as negative. However the simplest change the emphasis to the positive is to add the word 'even' before the goals.

My goal is to be even more efficient and to close even more sales per month.

It's not a subtle change.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.