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I was wondering if the following sentence makes sense by not using any relative pronouns for the clause:

I had been volunteering for Red Cross, a non-profit organization which provides blood, during the last year of high school

Is that correct? Thanks!

EDIT:

What I mean is if my sentence is correct by saying "... Red Cross, a not-for-profit organization ...", instead of saying "... Red Cross, which is a not-for-profit organization ..."

  • the Red Cross... – Jim Apr 22 '17 at 14:00
  • It reads much better when the clause is constructed using which is. In addition, you could avoid repetition by changing the second which to that. However, your sentence is awkward because you don't say to whom or in what circumstances the blood is "provided." – AmE speaker Apr 22 '17 at 15:05
  • You don't want to use had been, it doesn't work with during. Use was – Phil Sweet Apr 22 '17 at 15:38
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"Red Cross, a non-profit organization" is absolutely fine! The 'which is' would be clearly understood to be implied. This is a typical way of writing something when you don't need to say 'which is' or 'that is' or 'who is' because it is obvious or repetitive, and can be safely dropped without making a grammatical error or changing the meaning of the sentence.

Examples:

1) She liked the Queensland Reds, a rugby union team based in Brisbane, the capital of Queensland, and also enjoyed the style of the Brisbane Broncos, a rugby league team belonging to the same city.

2) She liked football and rugby, but felt a greater affinity in general for cricket, another commonwealth sport, imported from England in the previous century, and embraced whole-heartedly by Australia, one of the world's great sporting nations.

If I were particular to include 'which is' in these 2 sentences which can be read together, 'which is' or 'which was' could have been added after commas in six different places, as in

"She liked the Queensland Reds, which is a rugby union team based in Brisbane, which is the capital of Queensland, and also enjoyed the style of the Brisbane Broncos, which is a rugby league team belonging to the same city. She liked football and rugby, but felt a greater affinity in general for cricket, which is another commonwealth sport, which was imported from England in the previous century, and embraced whole-heartedly by Australia, which is one of the world's great sporting nations"

but don't you think those 6 inclusions (none of which are grammatically mandatory) would have made the paragraph awkward, repetitive and tedious!

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You can switch to the present participle form of provide and remove your pronoun.

I had been volunteering at [the] Red Cross, a no[t-for-]profit organization providing blood, during my last year of high school.

: using the definite article with Red Cross is idiomatic

: nonprofit without hyphen, but not-for-profit better for academic writing

  • This wording brings into question whether the speaker was donating blood rather than just describing the organization as one that provides blood. – Jim Apr 22 '17 at 14:03
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    But why would you want to do that? I don't think the OP wanted to get rid of the relative pronoun you're getting rid of (I think he wanted to get rid of the one he'd already gotten rid of), and saying which provides blood is much clearer. – Peter Shor Apr 22 '17 at 14:08
  • I’d probably rewrite as “, During the last year of high school, I had been volunteering for the Red Cross, a non-profit organization that provides blood ... – Jim Apr 22 '17 at 14:09
  • The question asks how to skip writing a relative pronoun. I agree the sentence screams rewrite, but I wasn't trying (specifically) to edit his homework. – Stu W Apr 22 '17 at 14:16
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    Oops, I think I confused everyone. What I mean is if my sentence is correct by saying "... Red Cross, a not-for-profit organization ...", instead of saying "... Red Cross, which is a not-for-profit organization ..." – James the Great Apr 22 '17 at 14:30

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