-1

I'm looking to describe this image, which is attached to a post I'm writing about. http://imgur.com/a/Fu4yy The following sentence is my attempt. "Attached is an image of a Bluepoint Brewery Rastafa Ale and a bag of Wendy’s, through which grease reveals the fries hidden beneath Wendy’s cheek."

  • 1
    "Through which" isn't the problem. I assume you mean grease makes the bag translucent. The "through which" refers to the bag. not the grease, so that construction doesn't work. Other than that, it's pretentious and awkward, so it just sounds odd. – fixer1234 Feb 8 '17 at 12:20
0

My 2¢ :

"...and a bag of Wendy’s, whose grease-stained cheek reveals the fries hidden beneath."

A bag has no cheeks, I know, but Wendy does. There's some stretching in it though, and I'm wondering whether it's acceptable or not.

0

The sentence in question is ambiguous. It gives the notion that the fries are hidden beneath Wendy's cheek. It doesn't show where the grease made the bag transparent.

The sentence may be rewritten for clarity as:

"Attached is an image of a Bluepoint Brewery Rastafa Ale and a bag of Wendy’s, which has become transparent on Wendy's cheek due to some grease over there and through which the fries hidden beneath are revealed."

0

Grammatically ‘Attached is an image through which anything reveals something’ is perfectly acceptable. ‘through which’ might well fit that point in that sentence but only if the rest of the sentence was comprehensible…

There is no way the example could be worth the candle. If it was ever going to work, it woild take far more effort to explain it than it would have taken to re-phrase the whole thing in the first place.

Start by dropping the wholly irrelevant bit… ‘Attached is an image of (anything) and a bag…’

Clarify for us whether ‘a bag of Wendy’s’ meant a bag belonging to the woman, Wendy, or a bag containing the produce of the burger-bar named Wendy’s, or something else?

Now, how does the content of the image matter, please? What grammatically would be lost in ‘Attached is an image through which grease reveals (the) fries hidden beneath Wendy’s cheek’? Please note that that doesn’t clarify the issue of Wendy’s ID…

Now, how can fried be hidden beneath anyone’s facial cheek, image or no image? Alternatively, how can an image reveal fries hidden beneath a butt cheek? Are butts no longer opaque?

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.