I'm not native, but feel that the following text proposed by my collaborator
The elements of Pluto are of interest, among other reasons, because Pluto has a large eccentricity, Pluto has a large inclination, and Pluto’s orbit crosses with Neptune’s.
is a bit repetitive and can be improved as
The elements of Pluto are of interest, among other reasons, because it has a large eccentricity, large inclination, and crosses Neptune’s orbit.
However, my collaborator (an American) argues my change has incorrect grammar and that his original is completely acceptable and fully in line with recommended writing style (he mentions Strunk & White 'Elements of Style').
Is this really so (both incorrect grammar and repetition good style)?
Edit 1 elements refers to the orbital elements and is perfectly clear in the context of this sentence. I didn't ask about this.
Edit 2 What about changing
Pluto in my 'improvement' (my actual text communicated to my co-author)? Would that still be grammatical?