2

I need a single word to describe someone who doesn't like the behavior of someone because that same behavior is in them

e.g. "I hate my tendency to refuse social interaction, hence I also hate other people who act the same way"

3

You're referring to psychological projection, where you transfer your own qualities to that of other people because you don't like your own qualities:

Wikipedia

Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.[1] For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.

According to some research, the projection of one's unconscious qualities onto others is a common process in everyday life.

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