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Sometimes he/she rubs it in your face. What do you call the instance of this action? What do you call this action?

  • Hannibal Lecter? "Quid pro quo, Clarice." I think a quid pro quo kinda fits the behavior, but I don't think think theres a term for "quid-pro-quo-er" – TheMadDeveloper Jun 22 '16 at 7:41
  • @TheMadDeveloper - nice cultural reference! But I think "quid pro quo" is a more neutral term, more like "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine", whereas the way I interpret the OP's question is that the person uses their magnanimity manipulatively or aggressively. – Chappo Says SE Dudded Monica Jun 22 '16 at 7:54
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    @Chappo - Good point. I suppose it's the psychopath in my reference that lent a tinge of malice to it. – TheMadDeveloper Jun 22 '16 at 8:03
  • A scorekeeper – Drew Jun 22 '16 at 17:40
3

Sometimes we say "He keeps score of all the nice things we do for each other," so you might could call him a scorekeeper or call the activity "scorekeeping/keeping score."

Other adjectives you might try to describe the person:

  • shrewd
  • calculating
  • unforgiving
  • cunning
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    calculating fits pretty well I think. – Max Williams Jun 22 '16 at 7:45
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    In fact, calculating fits very well as it's a good name for the characteristic but also, in this case, the person is literally counting, ie calculating, favours that you might owe them. – Max Williams Jun 22 '16 at 7:55
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You could consider the adjective "unmagnanimous". Whilst not exactly what you're looking for it could work in the context you describe.

http://www.yourdictionary.com/unmagnanimous

It's an antonym for "magnanimous", which can be described as follows:

magnanimous |maɡˈnanəməs|

adjective -very generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself.

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