Sometimes he/she rubs it in your face. What do you call the instance of this action? What do you call this action?

  • Hannibal Lecter? "Quid pro quo, Clarice." I think a quid pro quo kinda fits the behavior, but I don't think think theres a term for "quid-pro-quo-er" – TheMadDeveloper Jun 22 '16 at 7:41
  • @TheMadDeveloper - nice cultural reference! But I think "quid pro quo" is a more neutral term, more like "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine", whereas the way I interpret the OP's question is that the person uses their magnanimity manipulatively or aggressively. – Chappo Hasn't Forgotten Monica Jun 22 '16 at 7:54
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    @Chappo - Good point. I suppose it's the psychopath in my reference that lent a tinge of malice to it. – TheMadDeveloper Jun 22 '16 at 8:03
  • A scorekeeper – Drew Jun 22 '16 at 17:40

Sometimes we say "He keeps score of all the nice things we do for each other," so you might could call him a scorekeeper or call the activity "scorekeeping/keeping score."

Other adjectives you might try to describe the person:

  • shrewd
  • calculating
  • unforgiving
  • cunning
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    calculating fits pretty well I think. – Max Williams Jun 22 '16 at 7:45
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    In fact, calculating fits very well as it's a good name for the characteristic but also, in this case, the person is literally counting, ie calculating, favours that you might owe them. – Max Williams Jun 22 '16 at 7:55

You could consider the adjective "unmagnanimous". Whilst not exactly what you're looking for it could work in the context you describe.


It's an antonym for "magnanimous", which can be described as follows:

magnanimous |maɡˈnanəməs|

adjective -very generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself.


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