I spoke to a woman who had several issues dealing with a common process we go through at work. I gave her several solutions to her issues and even explained that one of her main issues was not really even an issue, just something she wasn't understanding fully and actually had the power to manage and maintain. She fought me throughout our conversation and kept repeating that she was having these issues, even as I tried to reinforce that these were solvable and manageable problems. After it was completely clear that everything had been explained and taken care of, she was obviously hesitant to accept that things were actually okay and seemed to want to not be okay with everything, just sighing and repeating, "Well... okay. But.... okay."

It was like she just wanted to be mad, perhaps because she was just foul-tempered, but also like she did not want to let go of the problem. I talk to these people every now and then who just seem unable to let go of that pessimistic mindset and want there to be a problem. Is there a word for this kind of person or a suitable adjective? The words I've come up with that touch on what I'm thinking of are argumentative, irrational, disagreeable, and dramatic, but none of these fully encapsulate that certain quality of just seeming to NEED there to be a problem.

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    In my experience, someone who exhibits that kind of behavior is 1) somehow not accepting that your solution(s) will solve their problem so they're "skeptical", or 2) feeling "resigned" that they are not successfully expressing how your solution(s) does not solve their problem in which case they might be conveying "exasperation". As a technical support person, I would take either of these attitudes as a sign I need to pursue either a different solution or a better understanding of their problem. May 23, 2016 at 17:55
  • I can't think of a single word answer, but a couple of phrases I've encountered for people like that are: Someone for whom every silver lining must have its cloud or someone who is happy being miserable.
    – Spagirl
    May 23, 2016 at 18:54
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    Maybe coin problemantic or problemanic.
    – Drew
    May 24, 2016 at 1:56
  • Either she's a worrywart, drama queen, or didn't fully understand your explanation and just agreed with it to get you off her back (either she's frustrated or embarrassed that she doesn't understand the solution).
    – magnetar
    Jul 8, 2020 at 10:10
  • Is your idea of being right the only perspective allowed? You "gave her several solutions to her issues and even explained that one ... was not really even an issue." Did someone ask for advice? Jan 6, 2021 at 21:07

3 Answers 3


Drama queen is a colloquial (and perhaps a bit demeaning) term for "A person who habitually responds to situations in a melodramatic way."


Such a person is a worry-wart. The Free Dictionary's definition is:

Someone who worries all the time

Example, from TFD (same link as above)

A Harvard University study, hailed as the most thorough of its type to date, found strong links between anxiety and heart health: the sunniest, most optimistic individuals examined in this study were a whopping 50 percent less likely to have heart attacks or strokes than their worrywart counterparts.

My personal definition of a worry-wart is a person who gets worried even during the brief intervals when there is nothing obvious to get worried about -- what is he/she overlooking?


Honestly I believe this has something to do with a person always wanting someone else to feel bad for them not actually caring about the situation but want you to feel bad and so they don’t wanna hear a solution because they wanna bring another person spirit down because their spirit is down some people just love to drain others.

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