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I have the following sentence:

Increase your rating as you develop your coding skills while you evaluate the skills of other developers.

However, I now realize that this sentence is a bit off since it doesn't communicate properly. Some feel that this sentence sounds challenging since some imply that you're competing and working with other programmers.

I am trying to make it feel more inviting and feel less like a challenge but an opportunity to not only give back to the community but also improve your own skills.

I am trying to remove the potential stress that goes into evaluating someone or letting x number of people evaluate you since you're already judged by your manager.

I was thinking that maybe changing the tone of this sentence to be less a declaration but more of an open suggestion.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it appears to be a generalized appeal for writing advice, which I think is even farther off-topic at this site than a request for proofreading help would be.
    – Sven Yargs
    Aug 13, 2016 at 21:15

3 Answers 3

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"Improve your coding skills by collaborating with other developers."

I've not explicitly mentioned "ratings" in any way, nor have I mentioned peer reviews but both are implied. Working collaboratively means that you'd be looking at other people's work and they'd be looking at yours. The logical (and most common) outcome of this is that everyone gets better at coding.

Plus, it sounds a lot less intimidating...

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"While you evaluate the skills of other developers, you will develop your own skills and in turn increase ratings."

I think this sounds more natural.

There are times where adverbial clauses express a better meaning in the front instead of placing it last.

Ex:

"I ate all kinds of sweets--you know the ones you like and I went to all those places we used to go together while you were gone to Hawaii."

This is okay but there is a lot of information here that may make the adverbial clause sound off.

Better:

While you were gone to Hawaii, I ate all kinds of sweet--you know the ones you like and I went to all those places we used to go together."

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Break it into separate sentences to relieve the interdependency.

Increase your rating. Develop your coding skills. And evaluate the skills of other developers.

There usually aren't any extra points for longer and more complex sentences.

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