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I just have a quick question. I'm having some difficulty determining whether or not the comma use in the following sentence is correct.

"The essential destruction of the human species, and the state of society that follows, act as a metaphor for the technological desensitisation of human society."

Thank you in advance to anyone who could answer my question.

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  • For me, changing "act as" [sic] to "is" emphasizes that "destruction of the human species" is the complete subject of the sentence.
    – tylerharms
    Apr 21, 2016 at 16:29

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Your sentence as written is just fine, as long as you change the plural verb "act" to the singular acts, since "the essential destruction" is one thing and therefore needs a singular verb. The words within the commas function as a kind of afterthought (technical term: non-restrictive clause):

The essential destruction of the human species, and the state of society that follows, acts as a metaphor for the technological desensitization of human society.

Here's a different sentence which illustrates the same sort of thing:

My younger brother, as with the four siblings who followed him, has a magnificent mind. He decided to put his brain to work in medical research.

If you choose to make your sentence one, long sentence without commas, it would read,

The essential destruction of the human species and the state of society that follows act as metaphors for the technological desensitization of human society.

The two phenomena ("the essential destruction" and "the state of society") require a plural verb.

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  • Hello, thank you for your answer. I'm trying to emphasise that both of those elements together combine to serve as a metaphor for what I've stated. May I ask why I must change the verb? I really was never taught grammar.
    – Emily
    Apr 21, 2016 at 16:11
  • @Emily: I just added an additional thought or two, which may (or may not) answer your question. If not, let me know. Don
    – rhetorician
    Apr 21, 2016 at 16:18
  • Thank you again. I think I understand now. To clarify, I need to use "acts" in the original sentence because "the essential destruction" is the main subject, while the "state of society that follows" is merely an extension of the original element?
    – Emily
    Apr 21, 2016 at 16:21
  • @Emily: That's entirely up to you. If you want the two phenomena to be separate from one another, perhaps because one is more important than the other, then keep the commas and use a singular verb. If, OTOH, you want to combine the two phenomena, you can use a plural verb (act), OR you can combine the two in such a way that you can use a singular verb (I'll add this option to my answer), as in "The essential destruction of the human species and society acts as a metaphor . . .." Hint: search online for info. about restrictive and non-restrictive clauses. Don
    – rhetorician
    Apr 21, 2016 at 21:26
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I would make a few adjustments.

Original:

"The essential destruction of the human species, and the state of society that follows, act as a metaphor for the technological desensitisation of human society."

Edited:

"The destruction of the human race and the state of society that followed acts as a metaphor for the technological desensitisation of human society."

Context required: the destruction of the human race in what way? How can society have a state if the human race (and by extenson society) was destroyed. What is technological desensitisation?

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  • Sorry for not giving context. This sentence is actually a part of a paper, and it's too complex for me to describe here. Thank you for your answer.
    – Emily
    Apr 21, 2016 at 16:25
  • @Emily That's ok. I am familiar with these types of papers. You are welcome.
    – silenceislife
    Apr 21, 2016 at 16:26

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