I said this to someone I don't personally know, who had signed my packet when I am not at home. I wanted to tell him do not do this again next time. I said this sentence but his friends seemed to be offended and shut the door. What does "you don't have to do this next time" mean in this context? is it a rude sentence?

closed as primarily opinion-based by Drew, ab2, NVZ, user140086, Mari-Lou A Apr 20 '16 at 7:05

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • 3
    It is not rude, as a standalone phrase, but depending on your (intentional or unintentional) intonation, it might have been perceived as ungrateful or ingracious, considering that the guy did you, a stranger, a favor (or at least he may have perceived his act that way). Still, closing the door in your face is a bit extreme. – Dan Bron Apr 19 '16 at 19:39
  • 2
    There are a number of things I do not follow. What, for example, is a 'packet'? There are also grammatical issues, which do not aid understanding. Your remark "you do not have to do this next time" is not idiomatic to the circumstances. And that can sometimes irritate people more. I am sure he was aware that he did not have to do it. If he had done it simply as an act of kindness, I may have said something like " It was very kind of you to do this, but it would actually help me rather more if you didn't in future". And then a couple of words of explanation to him might also have helped. – WS2 Apr 19 '16 at 19:49
  • Thank you very much for the suggestion. I hope I can be better next time. – Wamuu Apr 19 '16 at 20:12
  • A more polite way would be: "You really shouldn't have gone into the trouble of signing that parcel. I do appreciate the gesture but I'd rather pick up the parcel/letter (etc.) in person. Thanks anyway" – Mari-Lou A Apr 20 '16 at 7:03
  • @Mari-LouA Well done. Takes a woman to hit the precise bons mots. – WS2 Apr 20 '16 at 22:31

It is neither offensive nor rude in its own meaning. To me, I would be required to see how you said it to understand why they shut the door, maybe they were just trying to help and did not expect your comment. Add a please next time and specify why you don't want them to do it next time to avoid any misunderstandings if you feel like it is worth it.

  • Thank you for the answer. Knowing that the sentence is not offensive is a great relief. Originally I asked" Why did you do this, it is a bit weird and we do not even live on the same floor", after he answered I said "Well, thank you, but you do not have to do this next time". Then his friend came and said something like "she was saying you don't have to do this"(because of this I started to wonder if the sentence was offensive), we argued a little bit on why I did not want this(nothing rude here, just explanation). Finally his friend said that they would not do it again and shut the door. – Wamuu Apr 19 '16 at 20:09
  • 1
    @WAMUUU If you had put all this context in your question, it would have made it better and perhaps easier to answer. The more context the better is usually true regarding interpretation of statements. Still, no one can guess the reason behind the the friend's action. – Alan Carmack Apr 19 '16 at 20:31

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.