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I'm trying to remember a very specific (old-fashioned but not completely uncommon term) for a man who behaves in an ungentlemanly way towards a romantic partner --for example, a young man who boasts crudely to his friends about his liaison with a young woman who had asked him to keep it a secret.

The word is not lout or churl or chauvinist. The connotations are of someone who is ungrateful and immature --someone who is unappreciative of the sexual favors they are receiving.

Sample Sentence: I didn't mean to be a _____ when I insulted the breakfast you brought me in bed this morning.

  • Is "breakfast in bed" a double-entendre now? Unless it is, the two words you're requesting are significantly different, unless it's a guy like this. :) – anongoodnurse Mar 31 '16 at 15:20
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    @medica I assumed this was meant to refer to a post-coitus breakfast. :) – John Clifford Mar 31 '16 at 15:21
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    @JohnClifford - I tried, but I really don't follow. How does that compute? One example refers to a braggart, the other to an ingrate. Both are boors. – anongoodnurse Mar 31 '16 at 15:25
  • @medica Funnily enough cad still works either way. :) – John Clifford Mar 31 '16 at 15:26
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    "Jerk" is the first term that comes to mind. – Hot Licks Mar 31 '16 at 18:06
58

If you're looking for old-fashioned, the first thing that springs to mind is cad.

a man who acts with deliberate disregard for another's feelings or rights

Merriam-Webster

The Google definition backs this up as an appropriate answer:

a man who behaves dishonourably, especially towards a woman.

as you did specify the behaviour would be towards a romantic partner, and this fits well.

  • 5
    Sounds more like a software term. – user66974 Mar 31 '16 at 13:50
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    "You, sir, are a cad and a bounder!" - there's a great entry in the Urban Dictionary for this phrase, here: (urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cad+and+bounder). Presumably pronounced ked and binder, respectiveleh. – Charl E Mar 31 '16 at 14:28
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    Sounds like pistols at dawn for you two. – Brian Donovan Mar 31 '16 at 14:43
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    I'd be interested to know which two people downvoted this, especially since the duplicate answer which was posted after mine only has one. :P – John Clifford Mar 31 '16 at 15:29
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    I'm pretty sure this was the word that was eluding me. Amusingly, your link put me on the trail of an entire body of research around "dads vs cads"! – Chris Sunami Mar 31 '16 at 15:46
19

I think you may be looking for the word cad.

a man who behaves dishonorably or irresponsibly toward women.

The word has broader meanings, but my experience is that the specific meaning you seek is its usual meaning.

Synonyms here.

Of course, if a man is not a cad, sex with a woman is not merely a favor that she does him.

10

You sir are a bounder!.

Bounder was popular around the turn of the last century and means:

a man who behaves badly or in a way that is not moral, especially in his relationships with women.

8

Consider, boor

A rude and insensitive person.

M-W

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    'Boorish' would fit better."I didn't mean to be boorish..." – Mitch Mar 31 '16 at 20:18
7

I think the answer you're looking for is cad, not least because your example sentence necessitates a noun.

However, ungallant would be an appropriate adjective.

Ungallant: lacking in courtesy or chivalry

I didn't mean to be so ungallant when I insulted the breakfast you brought me in bed this morning.

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014. (1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014). Retrieved April 1 2016 from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ungallant

1

roué

Wiktionary

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rake

Oxford learner's dictionaries

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