Should we use articles highlighted in bold in the sentence below?

A video, that not only engages but also impresses target audience with a unique story, worldwide achievements, touching revelation, and in the end, a new hope for a better future.

  • 2
    First article is not necessary (or the word 'new' - unless it's just a preference?), second one is necessary. – Inazuma Mar 27 '16 at 12:58
  • You need also need an its between impresses and target. – candied_orange Mar 27 '16 at 14:03

A rewrite just for you:

A video that engages and impresses its target audience with a unique story, achievements around the globe, a touching revelation, and hope for a better future.

Now, it's better. Simpler is better. That is now used correctly in the sentence. Maybe /touching revelations/ with an s. But I can't say since I don't know what you are referring to.

  • Thank you @Lambie! Could I ask why "worldwide achievements" was changed? Thank you – Curiosity Mar 27 '16 at 16:22
  • I changed it because using it as a countable noun makes it specific to a bunch of specific places. Had it been unaccountable: It was a worldwide achievement (as in worldwide fame or acclaim that are also uncountable) I would have left it. I find it is stronger and more precise. Worldwide achievement, the achievement COVERS the world. AchievementS around the globe: they are FOUND IN many, many places around the world. – Lambie Mar 27 '16 at 16:39
  • Ok. And what if would have talked (not sure about a usage of conditional) about e.g. NHL (national hockey league), which united players from the whole world. Would it be a worldwide achievement or an achievement around the globe? – Curiosity Mar 27 '16 at 17:38
  • If it HAD talked about that :), worldwide achievement, because that is like worldwide acclaim. No s. Uncountable noun. Some words go both ways but their meanings change. A worldwide achievement is more abstract. – Lambie Mar 27 '16 at 17:59

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