what do you call it when someone randomly but methodically goes out of their way to get you to believe they're doing one thing but than goes and does the complete opposite?

IDK if the purpose is to misdirect or to misinform but I find this type of thing to be consistent with my friends who are overly concerned with what others think of them & also who have an over inflated sense of self importance to the point that everything they do has to be presented around a dinner with family & friends so they can make an "announcement" & not just in person, as soon as its announced its done so across all social media outlets.

For example: My friend & her husband are newly weds & they want to have children someday but they supposedly didnt want to do it immediately so they we're actively trying to convince other newly weds to wait on having kids also, I found this to be odd but it made total sense to me when out of nowhere, They we're expecting a baby. So everyone was puzzled because we thought they were waiting but they hit us all with the "It just happened" bs, I told my wife that the reason they wanted everyone else to wait was because they didnt want anyone else to be expecting a child at the same time they were because they wanted all the attention to themselves.

This isnt the only example, There are a ton of others ranging from little things to things as big as a pregnancy. I just dont understand the need to keep everyone thinking that you're doing certain things only to do another, Who does that?

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    Can you highlight exactly what you are asking? – NVZ Mar 26 '16 at 20:44
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    Dissimulation. – Drew Mar 26 '16 at 21:27
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    Welcome to ELU! Can you help us by outlining expressions that you have thought of, but which don't achieve what you are trying to say?References also help.You will see people around here using the term 'research' for this kind of thing. You will just get more and better responses if you can provide context for people to work with. This site works on productive collaboration, rather than open-ended chat. Have a quick look at the page about 'good questions', and the one about the kind to avoid. – Captain Cranium Mar 26 '16 at 21:33
  • It it was a company doing this kind of thing, we usually say they are spreading FUD (fear, uncertainty and doubt). In this case, *deceit or deception could be apt words. – Prahlad Yeri Mar 26 '16 at 22:29

I can't think of a commonly used noun, but the verb dissemble might do.

transitive verb:

1 : to hide under a false appearance

2 : to put on the appearance of : simulate

intransitive verb:

to put on a false appearance : conceal facts, intentions, or feelings under some pretense


The noun "dissembler" exists, but is very rare and I would not use it in this context. I've seen it applied to major historical figures like Sir. Thomas More or used humorously.

My friends, in response to overly personal inquiries, dissemble indifference to the idea of having children.

When pressed on intimate matters, they choose to dissemble.


[This answer only covers one aspect of your question.]

To misinform

 to ​tell someone ​information that is not ​correct:

I was told she would be at the ​meeting, but ​clearly I was misinformed.

-- Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus

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