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I don't think this phrase is incorrect, but it seems awkward and I can't figure out what to replace it with! The sentence I am using is:

As of when the man and woman take him in, his reaction in the face of danger is to curl into a fetal position.

When he was taken in and always before hand, he curled up into a small ball as a "defense".

My point in the sentence is to compare his reaction to danger before and after his major change. Being taken in by the man and woman gives a time reference in the novel in which he begins to change.

What can I replace 'As of when' with?

closed as off-topic by FumbleFingers, michael_timofeev, user140086, curiousdannii, tchrist Mar 10 '16 at 10:24

  • This question does not appear to be about English language and usage within the scope defined in the help center.
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • Please provide the complete sentence. It is impossible to tell if these three words are ungrammatical outside of any context. You are asking us to replace "have a dog", but we don't know if the complete sentence is "I have a dog", "she have a dog", or "I have a dog shelters all over the country". – RegDwigнt Mar 6 '16 at 18:31
  • I have to agree with @RegDwight. Replacing the 'As of when', which in some contexts can be replaced with 'since', still makes for a sentence that appears to violate the Maxim of Relevance. What circumstance are you aiming to describe that the 'curl into a fetal' position is the result of? How does it relate to being taken in by a man and woman? – Terah Mar 6 '16 at 19:40
  • When he was taken in and always before hand, he curled up into a small ball as a "defense". My point in the sentence is to compare his reaction to danger before and after his major change. Being taken in by the man and woman gives a time reference in the novel in which he begins to change. @Terah – Claire L. Mar 6 '16 at 22:11
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    'As of when' is nonsense to me. Reading that sentence over and over, and your explanation, I still can't get what that is supposed to mean. I have some to the shaky conclusion that you didn't find this in the wild, but have written it yourself. For writing advice, well, I still can't figure out what you're trying to say. "At the time when...'? Oh, Ed just said that. just 'When...'? 'As of the time when..."? I don't know. Kind of a mess. What do you mean if you chop it up into much smaller sentences? – Mitch Mar 8 '16 at 18:56
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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's writing advice – FumbleFingers Mar 9 '16 at 12:57
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Considering the various comments above, it is a bit of a guess as to what exactly you want to say, but given your clarification, I think enough context was given to provide you with an answer.

For future reference however, please check the Help Center of the Stack Exchange site you are visiting to ensure that your question is within scope for the given site. This will ensure that your question is answered sooner, and by people who are good at answering your particular kind of question.

That said, the problem with your sentence is that the different parts of your sentence mean different things to the extent that putting them together doesn't make much sense:

  • As of when (Since when, referring to a past event)
  • the man and woman take him in (sentence suddenly in present tense)
  • his reaction in the face of danger is to curl into a fetal position. (present tense as well)

When you want to express the change in how 'he' reacts to danger from the moment he was taken in by the man and woman (so not before he was taken in), all parts of that sentence have to match up, not just the 'as of when' part, for example:

Ever since the man and woman took him in, his reaction to danger is to curl up into a fetal position.

Keep in mind that this only says something about how the person responds after having been taken in, not how he responded before (only that it wasn't by curling up), but for all intents and purposes, this should give you some insight into how the sentence is built up and how you can expand on it yourself.

To parrot myself however, do consider asking questions about correct grammatical tense, etc, on the Stack Exchange that better suits your needs, the English Language Learner site.

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