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Say I'm looking for a job and a friend of mine gives me an option; but their offer is horrible(say working for less than minimum wage, 80+hour weeks, no vacation, doesn't use my degree; etc.)

What is a phrase or idiom for what they are doing, where the option they provide is basically worthless?

Furthermore say this same friend then attacks me saying I'm too picky or something similar.

Is there an idiom or phrase for when you offer somebody something worthless and then attack them when they inevitably refuse?

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    Welcome to EL&U. You may find that the English language does not always provide a single word for a complex concept. In this case, the answers you get may differ, depending on whose point of view you're adopting. The person making the offer and criticizing the one who rejects it will use different words than the person turning down the offer. You might also edit your question to clarify whether you're trying to describe the offer, either of the parties involved, the act of rejection or the criticism that follows.
    – Rob_Ster
    Feb 11, 2016 at 2:00
  • When somebody attacks you for refusing a generous offer, you are called an 'ungrateful wretch'. The person making the offer is called 'generous'. Is that what you mean? Since the person making the offer is your "friend"....
    – JEL
    Feb 11, 2016 at 2:28
  • They are lowballing you.
    – Drew
    Feb 11, 2016 at 2:44

4 Answers 4

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Trying to find an expression/idiom to match these two phrases about providing bad solutions?

So say I'm looking for an opportunity (say a job) and a friend of mine gives me an option; but their offer is horrible(say working for less than minimum wage, 80+hour weeks, no vacation, doesn't use my degree; etc.) What is a phrase or idiom for what they are doing? Where the option they provide is basically worthless?

This is known as a bad fit. This job doesn't suit you and you don't suit it.

Lowballing would simply be about the pay not being up to market value. You have raised issues that go beyond pay.

Offering someone a job that that they know to be a bad fit can been seen as predatory. It may actually be misguided charity.

Furthermore say this same friend then attacks me saying I'm too picky or something similar. Is there an idiom or phrase for when you offer somebody something worthless and then attack them when they inevitably refuse?

They likely see you as ungrateful but that's not from your perspective.

From your point of view they got your hopes up and dashed them. Then they added injury to insult by attacking you. This subverts the more typical idiom insult to injury.

None of these are perfect fits. They would not carry your exact meaning standing alone but they do capture the general mood.

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  • IT would be rather "misfit charity"
    – AMN
    Nov 17, 2020 at 9:36
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I don't know of an already established phrase for your situation. However, you could make one up: How about "A candle on windy nights offers no relief"? Of course, it may not appeal to you, but the point is you can always fabricate, and if you are lucky it may acquire standard use!

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First, you're seeking a verb, not a phrase or idiom. Second, I don't know why I started by saying "First". Much like a word problem in math, you must eliminate all unnecessary information in the question and focus on the primary aspects. Assuming there is an emotional motif to your query, let me infer that rather than looking for a fancy word to empower your retort, consider the value of the friendship in question versus the intellectual shortcomings of this person rather than trying to add lumens to the glow of your superiority via lingual chicanery. You may very well be trying to use a hammer when a shoe is sufficient. Nonetheless condescending is what immediately comes to mind. Although my thoughts on the matter obviously went elsewhere. Paramount in this is for you to have confidence in your abilities and seek not the assurance of others in your quest for gainful employment. Best of luck to you in your endeavor.

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  • Is the word condescending your answer? Then, please explain how it works for the Original Poster's context. Please use the Answer Box to answer, not to comment. More than 90% of your post reads like a comment. If you have more than 50 reputation points, you can leave a comment to any post.
    – user140086
    Feb 11, 2016 at 7:50
  • Unsperfluous makes more sense. Emasculation also applies when one ponders why I should have to repeat this and the pithy undertone of the question.
    – Polyglot
    Feb 11, 2016 at 8:01
  • I am not debating your answer. You don't have to convince me, you have to convince other users. I recommend you read this link Help Center > Answering.
    – user140086
    Feb 11, 2016 at 8:04
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Unsuperfluous. That's the single most accurate word to describe this that I can think of. It's not an idiom or phrase, but it sums it up very succinctly.

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  • Again, please explain why the word unsuperfluous works for the question.
    – user140086
    Feb 11, 2016 at 7:52
  • Defined as unnecessary or needless, both the offer of a job that fails to meet aspirations and the subsequent attacks for refusing are just that. However I admit to certain lexicographic misunderstandings and humbly self-reciprocate.
    – Polyglot
    Feb 11, 2016 at 9:00

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