I'm currently writing something and this sentence seems pretty ugly. How can this sentence be improved? Any help is appreciated.

"Day after day, you wake up early to make sure we get to school, bring us any homework or lost material that we constantly forget at home, come to all our school plays, winter concerts, sports events, and competitions, and are altogether the center of the Academy community."

closed as off-topic by Kristina Lopez, FumbleFingers, Jim, Hellion, Edwin Ashworth Feb 5 '16 at 0:36

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – Kristina Lopez, FumbleFingers, Jim, Hellion
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • "any homework ....that we constantly forget" is a little jarring. "the homework" or "our homework" would work better. – TRomano Feb 4 '16 at 20:56
  • I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it is seeking writing style advice. – Edwin Ashworth Feb 5 '16 at 0:36

Day in and day out, you get up early to get us off to school, bring us homework or other stuff we are constantly forgetting at home, and attend all our school plays, concerts, sports' events, and competitions: you are truly at the heart of the [name of school] community."

  • +1 for starting a new independent clause with "you are". – TRomano Feb 4 '16 at 20:56
  • 1
    Can "forget" be used in progressive tense in this case as "we are constantly forgetting at home"? shouldn't it be 'we keep forgetting'? – haha Feb 5 '16 at 1:15

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