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I was watching an episode of the Arrow TV series and I came across the following sentence:
Tommy (to Oliver): I wish you would have died on that island.
I know Americans tend to use constructions like: "If I would have gone there, I would have lost." etc., and there is literature on that, but what is your take on the sentences bellow?
I wish you would have died there.
I wish you had died there.
I cannot find anything on the first structure with wish. Besides grammatical correctness, is there any difference in meaning? There's only this info about the structure, but there is no legitimate source provided:
Could it be that, when looked at in isolation, they have the same meaning, or similar meanings, but a speaker might prefer to use one version over the other depending on the context or situation?
It seems that the first version (with "would") might sometimes be preferred by a speaker when they wish to be polite. For instance, when talking to their boss or to their own friends.
A speaker might prefer to use the second version when they want to be blunt. For instance, when you are reprimanding someone because they should have known better than to have not told you.
When a speaker wants to be polite, they'll often use versions that have more past-tense verb forms in them than would be necessary, and have more words with modality in them (e.g. "might", "perhaps", "could", "would"), and are longer in sentence length and wordier.
When a speaker intentionally wants to communicate bluntness, usually the shorter versions (less wordy) are preferred.
Compare the following:
"You should have told me that" "I wish you had told me that" "I wish you would have told me that"
It seems that #1 could be the most blunt of the three, and that #3 could be the least blunt.
As to the grammaticality of "I wish you would have told me that", usually the grammaticality of a sentence depends on: whether or not native English speakers would intentionally say something like that in a normal context and expect (all) other native English speakers to fully understand them, and that other native English speakers do understand them. Roughly that's the meaning of an utterance being grammatical in today's standard English.
Now, as to that specific utterance of yours that is in the title of your post, I can accept that many native English speakers will speak that intentionally, and that many of those speakers would be considered to be well-educated and good speakers of English by many fellow native English speakers. And it also sounds okay to my ear. And so, it seems to be grammatical to me.
And since you "hear people say things like this quite often", that is more supporting evidence for its grammaticality.
Aside: On a school test, the teacher probably wants to see the last version ("I wish you had told me that") as the answer.
Excess wordiness adds to politeness?
My questions are: Is there any difference in meaning? And if so, could you please provide a reputable source to back up your claims, too?