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This is incredibly specific. But let's say you're an entry level employee at an office. Maybe you work in the mailroom, but really aspire to be promoted to Technician. You dream about the day that you will become a technician and finally get out of the mailroom.

One by one, all your mailroom friends become technicians, but you keep getting overlooked. And slowly, you begin to hate/resent not only them, but the role of technician. You decide that you no longer want to be a technician; that all technicians are morons.

It's like a hybrid of covetousness and resentment and jealousy. Is there a word for that?

Sample sentence: "I used to want to be a technician, but now I __________ that job."

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    Are you talking about sour grapes?
    – FumbleFingers
    Oct 21, 2015 at 18:06
  • want-so-badly-that-I-hate
    – Drew
    Oct 21, 2015 at 18:07
  • It is related to disillusionment.
    – ermanen
    Oct 21, 2015 at 18:30
  • Envy conveys some of these things specifically in the sense that others are getting promoted and not you. Not a perfect fit but sorta works.
    – landocalrissian
    Oct 21, 2015 at 18:41
  • There's a term called "hate-watching." Maybe you could make up a new expression like "hate-wanting" or something.
    – user139454
    Oct 21, 2015 at 19:39

3 Answers 3

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The word you seem to want I guess is despise.

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  • Despise is basically just a synonym for hate, right? Hate is the right emotion, but I'm wondering if there's something that conveys how you arrive at that emotion. Sour grapes, as posted above, is more on point.
    – convoke
    Oct 21, 2015 at 18:15
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    @convoke But what are sour grapes, if only an expression of discontent? Regarding something as sour grapes, means that you are taking the view it is worthless - i.e. like sour grapes. It doesn't explain how you got to that point. But I'm not sure what, in a word, does.
    – WS2
    Oct 21, 2015 at 18:25
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To refer to resentment felt in the past, you may use rancor (US) or rancour (UK).

Definition: an angry feeling of hatred or dislike for someone who has treated you unfairly; Bitterness or resentfulness, especially when long standing.

EDIT following @KristinaLopez comment:

If you are looking for a verb, you may say: but now I am disdainful of that job."

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  • Rancor (rancour) is a noun. OP's sentence blank needs a verb, though they could certainly use a form of rancor in a modified version of the sentence. :-)
    – Kristina Lopez
    Oct 21, 2015 at 19:29
  • @KristinaLopez - You are right, but the OP also asked for "a hybrid of covetousness and resentment and jealousy" (what are nouns).
    – Graffito
    Oct 21, 2015 at 19:40
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This is usually used to describe rejecting another person but you could say "I used to want to be a technician, but now I "spurn" that job."

Spurn (from MWO):

: to refuse to accept (someone or something that you do not think deserves your respect, attention, affection, etc.)

"Reject", synonymous with "spurn" would also fit in that context.

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