I'm writing a piece of fiction as training to improve my English skills, and I've written this small piece:
The boys had been bulling her again, hiding her things and dumping her backback in a muddy puddle just outside school.
My editor sent me this correction:
The boys had been bulling her again -- they, hid her things and dumped her backpack into a muddy puddle just outside school grounds.
While the words corrected were ok, I really want to keep this structure of a single long sentence of listing all the hurtful things done to her, instead of breaking the sentence in two pieces, and converting everything to the past. The question is, can I? Is listing actions using gerund, while talking about the past (as is common in fiction), a grammar err?
I reworked the sentence as this:
The boys had been bulling her again, hiding her trhings and dumping her backpack into a muddy puddle just outside school grounds.
Is it correct?