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I am trying to list the proportion of x and y. I wrote the the first sentence and my boss changed it to the second one. Is it wrong to use and in this situation?

Out of 50,000 admissions, about 8% were due to X and 30% were due to y.

Out of 50,000 admissions, about 8% were due to X , while 30% were due to y.
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  • What you had is, in my view, preferable. His version is not wrong, just different. Also, no comma is necessary in his version, especially not one that is preceded by whitespace. – Robusto Sep 16 '15 at 11:33
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If you are comparing x with y, then changing to "while" makes sense.

If you are just stating the factors that account for the 50,000 admissions, "and" should suffice.

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Both are fine. In my mind, while tends to indicate a contrast, while and indicates a simple enumeration.

Half the vegetables I eat is broccoli and half is asparagus.

vs

Half of my serving was vegetables while half of Johnny's was dessert.

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