And why?

I always see whom used in questions. This is not a question, is a statement. Whom sounds correct to me, but I'm not sure if it is and why.

The "rules" I've seen around are all for questions, not for statements. In this case, "whom" seems the object to whom (hehe) the action of "being with" is performed. Is this correct?

  • 2
    I don't think your sentence makes sense, whether or not you use 'whom'. It seems to say that your mind is a person. Either this is incorrect or it is an arguable philosophical point. Aug 28, 2015 at 22:32
  • I see what you mean, but not sure it implies the mind is necessarily a person. I does imply that the is an entity of its own, which is a philosophical point indeed. For example, "your mind is what your brain does" - also uses the mind as a separate entity. Separate from the brain itself. Does not imply however that the mind is a separate "person". Aug 28, 2015 at 22:39
  • The reason for using 'whom' would be that it follows 'with'. There is no need for it to be a direct object. Because I don't understand what your sentence is intended to mean, I'm not sure how to answer in that specific case. Aug 28, 2015 at 22:42
  • It is meant to say that "you" are with whomever your mind is with. If your mind is with someone, in thought, then that's who you are with, whether that person is near or not. Perhaps “You are with whom your mind is with.” would be more clear, but I felt like that double with was not necessary. Aug 28, 2015 at 22:56
  • Okay, that clears it up. I'll attempt an answer. Aug 28, 2015 at 23:01

1 Answer 1


The distinction as I understand it after reading the comments is essentially about the distinction between the possible sentences:

You are with whoever your mind is with.


You are with whomever your mind is with.

My answer is that the latter is correct and the former is acceptable in many variants of modern English.


We say, 'You are with him.'

We do not say, "You are with he."

The above is almost universally true, regardless of grammatical terminology.

We can say, 'You are with whom?'

In many varieties of English we can say, 'You are with who?'

We merely have to extend this series in order to arrive at the two sentences I started with.

  • Whomever, yes! Thank you, so much better like that. Aug 28, 2015 at 23:18

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