I find that frequently, particularly with the advent of same-sex marriage, fiancée and fiancé are used in a confusing manner. For instance, if a man writes:
My fiancé knows all about Java, because...
(Is our speaker in a same-sex relationship, or using the wrong spelling?)
she's a professional programmer.
I frequently find myself unable to tell which of these is the case from context, and I expect other people to have the same issue. That is, they are mis-used so much, I can't be sure when they're used correctly. This wouldn't be so bad if they weren't pronounced the same way, making verbal distinction impossible. For instance, if I want to talk about my sister's future wife, I'll say "fiancée," but people are likely to hear "fiancé."
How can I make clear, both in speaking and writing, the gender of the future spouse?
I find "future husband/wife" or "husband/wife-to-be" clunky, so I'd like something more elegant than that. There probably isn't a secret pair of words that I don't know about, but if you can provide me with a cleaner phrasing, I'd accept it. "Girlfriend/boyfriend" doesn't imply the impending marriage, so those don't work for me here.