Another " would" usage to maintain the same tense in the sentence

Question

Touché on modify the joke to serve your best interest, although it'd probably lose its luster as you'd be disregarding traditionally Jewish stereotypes.

Is this sentence grammatically correct? Please elaborate.

Answer 1

Touché on modifying the joke to serve your best interest, although it'd probably lose its luster as you'd be disregarding traditional Jewish stereotypes.

This should be the corrected version, imo.

EDIT to answer further questions as asked in the comments:

1. Why comma? Well, you cannot have touché on modify a joke, that doesn't work at all. You need to start with touché on modifying a joke, but still, I think connecting them with a comma is a lot more dramatic, simpler and easier to understand.

2. Why traditional? Well, because it's traditional stereotypes, not traditionally stereotypes, that doesn't work at all. It could be traditionally good stereotypes, but certainly not traditionally Jewish stereotypes.

Answer 2

One simple error: it should begin

Touché on modifying the joke…

since on here needs to be followed by a noun phrase, and so the verb modify must be used in its gerund form modifying.

More debatably, I would suggest using simple past tense rather than conditional forms:

…it probably loses some luster, since you’re disregarding…

since the beginning suggests that someone has already modified the joke. It’d probably lose and you’d be disregarding are more natural if the modification is still hypothetical, in a context like:

Don’t modify the joke; it’d probably lose some luster…

So depending on context — is the modification definitely made, or still somewhat in question? — the simple past forms might be more appropriate, or the original conditional forms.

Edit: as Rimmer’s answer points out, it should also be traditional Jewish stereotypes, not traditionally, since traditional here is describing the stereotypes themselves, not the sense in which they’re Jewish.