She was caring, and yet she was _______
What I'm tring to say is that although she cared for others, she was strong enough to not let them dictate her actions. In other words, she did things for people because she was a good person, but it didn't mean she would do anything for anyone just because she was told to do so.
A single word is preferable.
Currently, what I have is
'she was no pushover', which is very close, but maybe not the best fit here. Kind of looking for an antonym of pushover which suits my case better.