To clarify, what I'm seeking is a term that represents a speaker offering a backhanded compliment, in which the speaker is the only one that doesn't share this point of view.
Example: "Personally, I think you were hilarious -- even if you did ruin the entire event, cheated the children, and the rest of the world hates your guts ..."
I'd also be interested in different takes on the purposeful, yet shielded (cheeky) offense and a completely unintentional, clueless (friendly) offense.