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I want to break a sentence into multiple paragraphs. This is a simple example:
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell if Captain Bob —
Slubgob, the alien explorer —
and Boris, the spy, can save the Earth from certain doom.
Is this punctuation incorrect, or confusing? If it is unacceptable, what would be a better way to do this?
Couldn't you just reverse the titles and not have to include the name of the spy?
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell if the underworld spy and Captain Bob - the alien explorer - together, can save the Earth.
Also, I'd say to settle on either dashes or commas.
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell if the underworld spy and Captain Bob, the alien explorer, together, can save the Earth.
Don't use double hyphen.
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell if Captain Bob - the alien explorer - and the underworld spy, together, can save the Earth.
There is still a problem with this sentence, which is it sounds like Bob could be both the explorer and the spy. You need to add the name of the spy, e.g.
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell if Captain Bob - the alien explorer - and Tom, the underworld spy, together, can save the Earth.
Consider using commas instead of dashes there.
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell if Captain Bob, Slubgob the alien explorer, and the underworld spy, can save the Earth [together].
This assumes there are three characters. If Slubgob is the spy, cut the comma after explorer and article before underworld.
If these are fictional characters with flexible names, consider changing one of their names to avoid confusion between Bob and Slubgob.
You cannot break a sentence across multiple paragraphs. I do not mean you should not; I mean you cannot. What you are proposing to do is to split a sentence into several lines of text, with white space between the lines. It is still one sentence, and it is still one paragraph.
That said, I suggest this:
As the clock ticks down to the finish, only time will tell {if/whether}
— Captain Bob
— Slubgob, the alien explorer and
— Boris, the spy
can save the Earth from [certain] doom.
(I put "certain" in brackets, because if our heroes might manage to avert that doom, it isn't certain, is it? So if I were to choose another word to modify "doom", I would use impending.)
(By the way, this not a matter of punctuation, it is strictly about typesetting; as such, it really doesn't belong on this SE.)
The Chicago Manual of Style has answers (sort of).
6.124 Vertical lists -- punctuation and format.
There is an example like this:
each item on its own line
the introduction being a complete sentence followed by a colon
Section 6.125 Vertical lists punctuated as a sentence. The example, including the lines, form a complete sentence.
The description in that section also states
that a semicolon may be used to separate the items;
that a conjunction just before the last item is optional; and
that the final item should end in a period.
It also says that there's no difference in punctuation whether you use numbers or bullets, but doesn't address whether you can use neither -- which seems a crucial point.
It adds, "Such lists, often better run in to the text [that means, not broken between lines], should be set vertically only if the context demands that they be highlighted."
The Business Writing blog looks at the question from the perspective of different style manuals. The Chicago Manual of Style Online has an FAQ on how to apply its rules.
