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This has been bugging me for the past 30 minutes. It's basically some sort of specific criteria you hold in order to even consider dating someone, like "My girlfriend has to like Star Wars," or "My Boyfriend needs to be muscular" or something of the like.
It's also a Slang term.

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    Are you asking a word for the set of criteria, the person who demands the criteria, or the general concept of having a set of criteria? You question is not that clear.
    – aaa90210
    Commented Jun 1, 2015 at 23:39
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    Deal-breaker (if the person doesn't have the quality).
    – Dan Bron
    Commented Jun 1, 2015 at 23:49
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    Or a must-have
    – FumbleFingers
    Commented Jun 2, 2015 at 1:28
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    I'd say the guy has very specific taste in women.
    – Brian Hitchcock
    Commented Jun 2, 2015 at 6:55
  • Isn't this person just "selective"?
    – Hot Licks
    Commented Aug 1, 2015 at 11:36

6 Answers 6

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Not specific for dating, and not a slangword either, "a prerequisite" seems to fit.

  • "required or necessary as a prior condition" TFD
  • "something that you officially must have or do before you can have or do something else" MW

e.g

  • "Dedication is a prerequisite to promotion in our institution."
  • "A strong personality is a prerequisite to leadership."
  • "I'm not the type of guy who dates any woman. Sweetness and a quiet demeanor are prerequisites."

also appropriate, as Fumble Fingers suggested in his comment, "Sweetness and a quiet demeanor are "a must-have".

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  • "It's also a Slang term."
    – Carl Smith
    Commented Jun 2, 2015 at 1:38
  • @CarlSmith "prerequisite" a slang-word ?
    – Centaurus
    Commented Jun 2, 2015 at 1:39
  • Why the downvote? It would be helpful to say why.
    – Centaurus
    Commented Jun 2, 2015 at 1:44
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    @CarlSmith's comment was probably intended to point out that you did not include the criterion that the word was supposed to be slang ('prerequisite' is definitely not slang).
    – Mitch
    Commented Jun 2, 2015 at 2:05
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Picky--(adj.) The word describes someone whose standards for choosing a girlfriend or mate are so high that hardly anyone qualifies. 'Pickiness' (noun) is often used to explain the continued bachelorhood of very eligible men and women who remain single well into middle age and beyond. It's a refusal to settle or compromise one's lofty standards in romantic relationships.

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Thank you [@Dan Bron] for the past hour I've been trying to remember the word deal breaker with 3 of my coworkers and we just couldn't remember the word.

Merriam-Webster

  1. a reason for rejecting someone or something
    Any number of women I interviewed cited clinginess in a boyfriend as a major deal breaker.
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    This is indeed the answer that best reflects the current colloquial English, and it is unfortunate that Mr Bron left it as a comment. It is, however, customary at this site (although not required) to post answers that only 'upgrade' somebody's comment into an answer as wiki-answers. Posting them as regular answers creates a dilemma for potential upvoters, who, on one side, may want to upvote it to signal its correctness to future visitors, but, on the other side, may be reluctant to give somebody credit for mere reposting.
    – jsw29
    Commented Jul 17 at 16:20
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Another possibility for something you require of a partner is adjective non-negotiable, noun non-negotiable(s). They mean not open to discussion or reconsideration, or a thing which is not open to discussion or reconsideration: Cambridge, Merriam-Webster. Spellings vary: nonnegotiable is preferred by Merriam-Webster, and non negotiable is used online but is probably less correct.

They are often used in the context of dating, for example:

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Maybe OP had in mind sine qua non, thinking, perhaps, that it was slang. I suppose at one point it was a kind of slang — philosopher-argot.

I can't date a woman who plays the xylophone. Not playing the xylophone is a sine qua non for me.

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I am not sure if this is what you are thinking about, but if something does not meet minimum standards or requirements, you would say it is not up to snuff.

up to snuff and up to scratch
Fig. as good as is required; meeting the minimum requirements.
Sorry, Tom. Your performance isn't up to snuff. You'll have to improve or find another job.
My paper wasn't up to scratch, so I got an F.
The Free Dictionary by Farlex

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  • That makes it sound like you actually think the person isn't good enough, rather than just not being the kind of person you want to date. I might say a guy isn't up to snuff if he's boorish or abusive, but not if I just want someone who's more into Star Wars.
    – MissMonicaE
    Commented Feb 2, 2017 at 18:05
  • @MissMonicaE: I read criteria as a minimum standard. If it is just a matter of taste, I would use cup of tea.
    – jxh
    Commented Feb 2, 2017 at 18:52
  • the Star Wars example makes me think it's just a matter of taste (whereas up to snuff sounds like a semi-objective value judgment), although the muscles thing is more ambiguous.
    – MissMonicaE
    Commented Feb 2, 2017 at 19:29
  • @MissMonicaE: I have always understood different people would have different ideas for snuff. The subjective criteria itself could theoretically be applied objectively by a third party (such as a match maker, or online dating site).
    – jxh
    Commented Feb 2, 2017 at 19:33

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