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I would like to tell my friend to stop dating men who are so superficial, but state it in a positive way.

Please help me complete the sentence: "You should date men who are more __________."

So far the only word I've been able to come up with is "real" which seems ambiguous and lacks gravitas.

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    What did a thesuarus suggest, and what was not good about those? – Mitch May 22 '15 at 14:49
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    Subficial is the theoretical opposite, since super means 'above'. – John Lawler May 22 '15 at 14:58
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Pretty common antonyms in this context, both for the literal denotation and figurative connotation, are:

  1. deep
  2. profound
  3. serious
  4. thoughtful

In particular the first two, deep and profound, carry the literal dictionary definition (per Google):

noun, literary: 1. the vast depth of the ocean or of the mind.

Regarding the sentiment you're expressing with "real", you may prefer:

  1. authentic
  2. genuine
  3. sincere
  4. earnest

Which have all the gravitas due polysyllabic words (though I'd argue people using the straightforward and common real are more, well, real).

If these don't suit, they'll serve as good entry points for a thesaurus search.

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    Gosh they all sound fun guys! I bet she can't wait to try some ;) – Marv Mills May 22 '15 at 14:45
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Sticking to your context, you could use mature, wise, or sensible, among others. In your sentence, I would personally use mature.

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If you want to be more specific than the generalities of "deep" or "real", it may depend on what exactly you mean by superficial.

If you mean that the men are superficial with regard to themselves (that is, they are primarily concerned with their own image), then you may recommend men who are introspective.

If you mean that they're superficial with regard to your friend (that is, they only value her for reasons such as her looks), then you perhaps may recommend men who are more insightful or perceptive.

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thorough |ˈTHərō| adjective complete with regard to every detail; not superficial or partial: planners need a thorough understanding of the subject. • performed or written with great care and completeness: officers have made a thorough examination of the wreckage. • taking pains to do something carefully and completely: the Canadian authorities are very thorough. • [ attrib. ] absolute (used to emphasize the degree of something, typically something unwelcome or unpleasant): the child is being a thorough nuisance. DERIVATIVES thoroughness noun ORIGIN Old English thuruh, alteration of thurh‘through.’ Original use was as an adverb and preposition, in senses of through. The adjective dates from the late 15th cent., when it also had the sense ‘that goes or extends through something,’ surviving in thoroughfare.

  • How do you ascribe that word to a person in terms of someone who is the opposite of "superficial'? – Kristina Lopez May 22 '15 at 15:44

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