“Shoot me now” (origin?)
Nathaniel Thomas Haynes Bayly (1797 – 1839) an English poet, songwriter, dramatist, and miscellaneous writer, in 1837 penned Kindness in Women.
In the following passage, taken from the story entitled Kate Leslie, the phrase ‘shoot me now’ appears to be idiomatic; a mild curse which the speaker utters in mock frustration as he tries to recall where he has seen the woman's face. They are fellow passengers travelling in a stagecoach, and Kate is with her husband.
‘None, I'm very much obliged to you,’ said Kate.
‘I can't help thinking I know your face somewhere, marm’ said the fat man, staring at Kate with a knowing smile.
‘I don't think it likely, sir,’ said Hanson with immense dignity.
‘Don't you ?’ replied the huge stranger with provoking indifference. ‘I'm sure, marm, you and I have met somewhere; but shoot me now if I can tell where!’
‘I have lived a very retired life, sir, and do not think it probable that we should have met.’
‘Oh ! I know,’ said the fat man, slapping his right thigh with his right hand.
‘Sure enough, it warn't in a room, nor any how that I could speak to you ; but 'twas at the Manchester theayter, and I was in the pit, and, I remember now, you was the pretty girl what acted Don Giovanni in tight breeches and a hat and feathers.’
Please Kill Me (origin?)
PLEASE KILL ME
The Uncensored Oral History of Punk
The title of a book on the history of the punk movement in the US was published in 1996
New York Times review
Story of Punk: More the Ugly Gossip Than the Music's Impact
August 22, 1996 By JON PARELES
“Please Kill Me,” named after a T-shirt once worn by a member of Television, doesn't have much to say about the music itself. It's a book of gossip, usually from the participants themselves, about couplings, petty crime, hustles, pratfalls, snubs, traffic mishaps, fistfights, knife fights and overdoses. In it, sex and drugs are inextricably linked to rock-and-roll; so are dissension, ambition and death. And true to its subject, ''Please Kill Me'' is lurid, insolent, disorderly, funny, sometimes gross, sometimes mean and occasionally touching. Its alternate subtitles might be “The Romance of Self-Destruction” or perhaps, “Body Fluids of the Poor and Infamous.”
… Richard Hell, who leaves Television with a ripped T-shirt and the song that should have been an anthem, ''Blank Generation'';
The American band, Television, formed in New York City in 1973, is said to have inspired the punk movement in the mid-70s. In 1975 Tom Verlaine, the band's front singer, reportedly kicked Richard Hell out, a co-founder of the band, after complaining that his unpredictable performance and behaviour in gigs drew attention away from the music, he would also refuse to play Hell's perhaps most famous and iconic punk song The Blank Generation on stage.
In vain, I searched online for the original t shirt, created by Richard Hell, between 1973 and 1975. I did however, find this description
Hell had written the words "Please Kill Me" on a shirt and included a graphic of a bulls-eye below it. He then decided it was against his better judgment to actually wear it – the duty was somehow assumed by Television guitarist Richard Lloyd. According to Lloyd, “Richard... wouldn’t wear it. So I [did]. These fans gave me this really psychotic look... Then they said, ‘If that’s what you want, we’ll be glad to oblige because we’re such big fans!’... and I thought, I’m not wearing this shirt again.”
Two years later...
In 1998 Adam Sandler starred in the romantic comedy movie The Wedding Singer and played a spoof punk-rock song called Somebody Kill Me, Please
You don't know how much I need you
While you're near me I don't feel blue
And when we kiss I know you need me too
I can't believe I've found a love that's so pure and true
But it all was bullshit
It was a goddamn joke
And when I think of you Linda
I hope you fuckin' choke
I hope you're glad with what you've done to me
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly
Oh somebody kill me please
Somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees, pretty pretty please
I want to die
Put a bullet in my head...
The YouTube video, posted in May 2006, has been watched 3,662,533 times, which suggests that the scene/song enjoys a moderate cult following.
According to the website Know Your Meme ®, the image macro Kill Me first appeared in Reddit, and might have been inspired by the 1986 cult movie Alien in which a crew member of a spaceship is trapped in a cocoon and begs to be killed.
I like all the suggestions which have been upvoted so far. In particular DavePhD's, put me out of my misery, which I think comes closest to please kill me, and just shoot me now. And Zikato who's shown that there are many possible variations on the theme; I'd rather XXX than XXX. However, I've been asked by the OP for suggestions, so here are two
Why me? What have I done to deserve this?
I need [a ten-hour drive] like a hole in the head.