I have a friend who always expects you to be fully understanding, considerate and thoughtful, but when you expect her to behave in the same way, she says you are too picky, a drama queen, and not being thoughtful by asking her to be thoughtful because she is either busy or stressed. Is there a word that describes this type of behavior or person?
If you mean that he does the opposite of what he says maybe you can use hypocrite.
As suggested in the comments by Hellion and Stannius, this Collins definition that I had included can be seen as too broad, so I am including another definition.
According to Merriam-Webster:
2) a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings
If you want to refer to someone who does not think before acting you can use thoughtless Collins:
1) inconsiderate ⇒ "a thoughtless remark"
2) having or showing lack of thought ⇒ "a thoughtless essay"
3) unable to think; not having the power of thought
or reckless Collins:
1) having or showing no regard for danger or consequences; heedless; rash
This person is "self-centered":
concerned solely or chiefly with one's own interests, welfare, etc.; engrossed in self; selfish; egotistical.
centered in oneself or itself.
a person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives.
- not genuine
- having a misleading appearance