I thought commiserate was the word I was looking for, but found out that means sympathy for someone else's experience, rather than two or more people mutually feeling sorry for themselves.

  • "share sorrow" comes up as a synonym – mplungjan Apr 22 '15 at 11:09
  • What exactly does “mutually bemoaning a shared experience” mean? It seems a very odd phrase, and I can’t figure out what you’re trying to say with it. You can’t mutually feel sorry for yourself, that doesn’t make any sense. You can mutually feel sorry for each other; is that what you mean? Can you give a practical, real-world example of two people doing this to illustrate? – Janus Bahs Jacquet Apr 22 '15 at 11:09
  • Yes, I mean a group of people feeling sorry for each other (as well as themselves). In my case, it is a group of people working on a difficult project. – Nathan FD Apr 22 '15 at 11:20
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    Regarding Commiserate: You may just be looking in to new/limited a dictionary. machaut.uchicago.edu/… "We should commiserate our mutual ignorance. Locke." "Syn. -- To pity; compassionate; lament; condole." – Wayfaring Stranger Apr 22 '15 at 11:21

Commiserate will do just fine. If A sympathizes with B at the same time B sympathizes with A for the same reason, they commiserate with each other. And this has been going on for a while now.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=commiserate+with+each+other&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ccommiserate%20with%20each%20other%3B%2Cc0 enter image description here

Of course, a rather less formal phrase would be bitching and moaning. Take your pick.

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